Friday, July 31, 2009 ♥
Another day ..Another FYP meeting.. another rehearsal..
When will all this ends :(
Tml I have to wear formal for this stupid presentation..pfft..
Dragged Fidah along to present it with me... Cause she is my booster..Someone who boost up my confidence.. Someone who would be there for me... A friend tt will stand by me..... A true fren.....
Like I've said... She is the reason I am still in this school..In this course.... May god bless her.. and give her a better life.... She had suffered enough..Pretty much life isn't really fair for her...
Cheer ups Fidah.... I really wish we could graduate tgt..... I dont want to graduate alone with this stupid class...I want to be with u..... We have gone through shits tgt...
I failed my pract test for the first attempt last monday...I felt miserable as fuck.... But people from other classes.. wen they fail.. they have their classmates to support them..But I only have Fidah...
Nina was like asking me when we were waiting for Miss Susan for remedial class..She was saying " Why they ( ppl sitting outside the next door) can be so happy and cheerful even though they have failed?"... Nina, the answer is simple..Cause they have motivations from their classmates.. Their classmates pull them up whenever they feel down.. but not 0720... they will look down on you if u fail...They dont give a fuck bout u if u fail... When u fail.. then dont come to u and say.. "Its Gonna be alright"..or.. "Dont worry we will practice together again ok?"... but they just kepo2 at you ask why u fail .. what is your mistake...& blah blah blah.. until u feel like slapping their faces... Ive been in that situation..So I know.... Call themsleves FUTURE NURSES... hahaha.... I wanna laugh my lungs out till I puke and DIE..Just fuck them... Always a pain in the ass... NEVER have I felt joy being in tt class....
I have a problem again..On FYP presentation tml..The other 2 grp members are freakin useless...
Should make them the fuckin leader... then they know the stress......My lappy is whacked...
I need to ask favour from Lucy again....To borrow her lapy fr presentation...
Pathetic huh... I just don't like asking favours and stuff.. But what to do....Im always a blacksheep.....
Hope tml's presentation will be fine.... ^^ INsyaallah :)
I thought I am happy already that I am free.... But why I keep thinking bout him...& Feel so miserable again :(
But I cant turn back ...I just can't.... :(
Gosh when can I be happy again....
Screaming my thoughts out @ Friday, July 31, 2009
Wednesday, July 29, 2009 ♥
Dear bloggy..
I passed my practical today...
FINALLY...
hees...
Another burden is being lift off my shoulders...
Bless Miss Susan for making the 3 of us pass today..
She nags alot but she is funny...
Im glad she is my lab lecturer for my last year in poly..
Everyone pretty much dislikes her.. cause they have not been her students before..
She is a mean beast during assessment .. No doubt bout tt...
But in class... She have shown such a caring attitude towards us..
There's one time I remembered I cried during lab lesson...
She cant stop asking why I cried...
Even though I just ignored her..
But she still approached me after she have finished her lesson..
I definitely wont forget Miss Susan.. ^^
Thanks to her I dont have to do my retest tml with a fuck up lecturer
Different lecturers..Different expectations.. N i dont know what are their expectations..
So no more stress about lab.. I sure hope overall I will pass..
Having a retest on everything again is a nightmare....
Now I feel relaxed....I've not been myself for the past weeks... There's FYP.. LAB TEST.. RELATIONSHIP...ICAs.... Feel like pulling my hair till I become bald!!!
I have broken up with him.....
Like what Syed have said.. Just let him go....
I feel so free.... N dont have to put up with his behaviour anymore...
Im a free bird.... Maybe I am meant to be single...
Single = Freedom ^^
~ SHIDA is a single and independant woman...I dont give a fuck bout ppl with penis...& I am for real yo~
I will stand up for what I have said to him...that I will never reply to his msges..Never want to have any contact with anymore...& I will never turn back... I guess this is goodbye..
Cause I ain't falling back to u anymore... I love you..& I miss you too.... But we are too different..
U can't understand what I want...& I cant understand u either... I only can wish you happiness...
& hope our path would never cross again....
Screaming my thoughts out @ Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Tuesday, July 28, 2009 ♥
I felt my heart crushing into pieces..When will this pain disappear... I've work soo hard.... But it seems that my effort wud always gone to waste... What is god trying to show me??? My mind is not focus.... I can't stop thinking....Sometimes I ask myself..WHY ME? Why not other people...Why is it have to be me?? I'm trying to have a positive mindset bout everything...But there is always someone and something that will always pull me down.... Its not that I want to stay negative all the way... But certain situations pull me down...N its hard to get right back up...
I know I cant be this way and I shall not give up just yet.... Imma hold on with everything that I've got... And be strong.... For the sake of my family.... I want to make a difference...I cant give up and will not give up....Even if I have to go through it alone....
Screaming my thoughts out @ Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Sunday, July 26, 2009 ♥
Dear bloggy this few weeks have been very busy... Tml, I will be having a pract exam..
Wish me luck...
Gosh im scared to death when it comes to practical..
Its like the lecturer can just say.. "U sure it is the right thing to do"
When I am in the middle of doing tt thing I am doing..
Gosh... And I will be stunned and my brain start to panic... Everything in my brain will be blank... and i will fail...BUT
That is not gonna happen tml...
Ive work so hard ... I deserve to pass... everybody deserve to pass...
We have been working so hard... Year 3 have been a pain in the ass... Cant wait to get out of sch...
But have to go through FYP first...
*sigh* *sigh*..
Tml is goin to be a marathon..
1st- Pract exam
2nd-Presentation on Sociology
3rd- FYP rehearsal and meeting...
If i Fail my pract.. I will have n mood for the other 2 stuff..
So pls pls god.. make me pass tml pract exam... PLSSSSSSSSSSS
dont make life harder for me....
:(
Screaming my thoughts out @ Sunday, July 26, 2009
Friday, July 3, 2009 ♥
Dear bloggy...
Today is my daddy's bday...
Happy birthday 46th bday my daddy love...
We have made a surprise for him...
It was some crazy shiat...
But it was fun.. He never expected it...
Hey no matter wad... He is our dad..N my mum's husband..
His birthday is important to us...
Cause he is important to us....
N dont worry aites daddy..
I know how to take care of myself..
No matter wad happens..
I wont get myself into deep shiat...
N imma make u proud one day...
My family is fucking dysfunctional..
How can a family who is made up of
different types of age group ever get along...
We see a certain problem in a different way
Our cognitive thinking and ways to solve a problem are totally
different...
We may have our differences
But what actually make us still together...
Maybe its the bond that we have made for the past years..
My family may not be perfect....
but I love them....
I may be the one who always try to solve all my probs myself..
But I know they willl stand by me.. whenever i need help...
pfft...
i guess..
They will be the only family I will ever have...
Cause my mind is straight....
I dont want to have my own family....
UNLESS...
I find a right guy... a perfect guy... ermms...
In which I dont think im ever gonna find him...
He is not the one for me...
N i will slowly fade frm his life...
MAYBE im better off alone...
;)
~ SHIDA the lonely spinchter gonna be~
Screaming my thoughts out @ Friday, July 03, 2009
Thursday, July 2, 2009 ♥
Life can cause pain sometimes...
But never ever wish that u have never been born..
Instead thank god that you are here so that u can experience the ups and downs of life...
Life has been down for me right now...
But i know...
If i hold on much longer...
I will be happy in the future...
LOLs..
Words of motivation from me to me...
XD
.... If u really love that someone... You wouldnt care how he looks...
But i do pity him though.... Wish I could help....... Ive gone through tt kinda thing before...
I just gotta help him... I wanna make him happy... but how can i make him happy.. when I, Myself, aint tt happy either... Thats why I gotta bounce back frm all this miseries and the feeling of patheticness...I have to be strong.... I aint tt weak as wat ppl think I am....
I can't promise tt I will stick to him...
But for now...
I just want to make him smile like he mean it... Laugh like he never laugh before... Love him like he never been love before....
Like I used to question myself...HOW CAN U LOVE AND HATE SOMEONE AT THE SAME TIME?
No matter how unsatisfied I am with him... I dunnoe why I feel empty wenever he is not around me.... I may not be special or important to him.... but he is to me...N I am willing to accept him for who he is.... Cause everyone deserve to be love..... No matter how they look...
Screaming my thoughts out @ Thursday, July 02, 2009
♥
MJ will always be loved and remembered for his fantastic out of the world dance moves and his memorable affect he had put in our lives..... Rest in Peace Michael... :)
Screaming my thoughts out @ Thursday, July 02, 2009
♥
His the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only one who got enough of me to break my heart
His the song in the car
I keep singing don;t know why I do....
HIs the time taken up but there never enough and his all that I need
To fall into.......
Hahaz...
I know its an old song..
But never get tired of it :)
Okies now I am talking to Lucy darl..
Ways to clean acne away from your skin..
The topic of our discussion...
What I have researched..
Hmm...
Rub garlic on your face...
Like EWWWWW..
Blend peeled orange
and put it on ur face
spread it equally on your face
Hmm.. I rather drik that orange juice !!!
And avocado paste...
haha.. I never buy avocado before..
Or egg white.. make it like a mask on ur face for 20 minutes..
Then wash it off..
Goshhhh wat a waste.. Eggs are very expensive now...
Rather eat it than put it on my face!!!
hmm... I know.. I know...
Im sucha fussy bastard..
But what I can say is...
The best way to keep out acne from disrupting the flawlessnss of ur skin..
are:
1) SLEEP AT NIGHT and GET ENOUGH SLEEP at least 6 hours
2) CLEAN your face with facial wash at least 2 times a day.. DONT BE LAZY
3) Eat fresh food, fruit and vegetables..NOT FAST FOOD
4) Drink plenty of PLAIN WATER
5) Avoid fried foods
6) Moisturise your face
7) Dont press yor pimple.... SERIOUSLY the next day you will see a new pimple next to your old one
hmm... Well there are more ways...
But for starters.. Maybe you can try doing those 7 ways..
N hopefully we will have better skin in the future..
Aites.. I think Imma go to bed...
Stay prettty girls..
=)
Screaming my thoughts out @ Thursday, July 02, 2009
