All about a girl name jammy

2009-12-27T23:29:00.002+08:00

Dear bloggy...

Today I've read about a lady who was 30 years old... She passed away because of CA breast.. Her wish was to get her degree before she dies... The article wrote she slept at 9pm and wake up at 1am to study all the way to 4am and yea.. she did not sleep after tt.. Her determination to pass her degree is damn strong.. She is willing to sacrifice everything just to get wat she wants...
Even though she knew she's gonna die... She still want to pass.. wants her degree....

A person, who knows that she is dying... working hard.. Till her last breathe to get what she wanna achieve in life... Imagine that...

Ppl who have no such disease.. no such illness... take things for granted...ppl like me... Keep on thinking bout giving up... Thinking that it is the end...

She is an inspiration to me... N pretty much to all who is still hanging in there... Even though struggling... But trying their best...Just hold on a little longer... Success will be ahead of us... Insyallah...

2009-12-22T21:55:00.003+08:00

Dear bloggy...

Being a nurse is such a burden... Not just my lecturers or other nurses expect u to know everything.. but also ur family members a...but i dun blame them.. I felt honoured actually... like wen my mum have some queries on certain drugs.. she will ask me... and she will ask me certain diagnosis.. Like wad issit about and stuff.( some obviously i cant answer)... but thanks to her.. i get a chance to research bout it and stuff... I thank god.. He had made me this way.... Being a nurse is a curse...But it can be a blessing also... At least I can help ppl... Im happy the way i am... I know my journey as a nurse is not a bed of roses... There is tym wen i feel like giving up... But wat i can do now is just do my best.. do wat i can do....

My greatest weakness of all is helping ppl no matter hu the hell they are.... Whether they are gd or bad... Whether they r gonna appreciate it or not... But I cant help it... I am the way I am... Putting a smile in a person's face wen she is down... Making a person's day after having a miserable one... Coz their smiles are my happiness...Seeing my love ones smile each day makes me stronger...

Anyways... update about my love life... which is like so pathetic.... I dunnoe maybe he is just a waste of tym... I want someone hu will catch my tears wen i cry.. well tt sorta shit..get wat i mean.. N he aint the one.. Look at him now.. yesterday i was freaking pissed with him then now he is online and dun even wanna talk to me.. haha... mcm aku yg nk gi balek ngan dier in the first place..... padehal... padehal... May he be struck by lightning and burn to death... fucking hate him... -_______________-

2009-12-21T16:58:00.002+08:00

I use to believe that everyone can change... It is just a matter of time.. and also by giving them support.. they sure can change...

But i dunnoe right now.. im lost... I just felt so heavy in the heart...

Why must he keep on doing this to himself and his family?

Even if he have problems... It cannot be solved this way

I dunnoe what to do... I feel so helpless....

Everytime he go out frm tt place... He said that he has changed..

Well, its true... he'd changed.. but only for a while...

He do not know tt wadever he is doing right now is hurting tt someone i love the most...

All this while... she prays tt he will change and be someone responsible...

But look at him now.. still the same...

Still washing off his probs with those stuff...

Wad the hell is in his mind....

Everyone has problems... have bigger problems than him...

Why he have to do this?

2009-12-17T04:54:00.002+08:00

4:55 am... n im awake...

well.. Am doing drug research now.. but just taking a break.. cause the drugs are so alien to me.. and my brain is being a bitch... MEMORISE IT BITCH! lol... haiz...

Well today im in the PM shift... Sucks.. why cant I have DO like 2 days straight.. lame sia my schedule...

I hope my bday falls on a DO... if im werking... then i will be sooooo sad :(

Nursing is a bitch..LOL

-________________-

2009-12-07T03:58:00.002+08:00

Dear bloggy... Its 4:00 .... im still awake....

I have to reach TTSH at 8am..today is the orientation for PRCP till 4pm..
Finally... this day has come... i hope i can graduate after this... This is what I have been waiting for.... Meeting Lucy later at around 5am... so yea.. aint gonna sleep... gonna stay awake for a long while.... No worries... I am super!! I can do it.. :) i will survive today... This anxiety in me.. makes me feel restless... LOL... Just feel like busting out frm this hse now.... He he.... Aites.. wish me luck..

chiaox.....

2009-12-04T03:09:00.002+08:00

Dear bloggy,

It is 03:10 am and I am still awake... U can say I am semi concious.. but I just cant make myself sleep... Once I off my laptop.. N my eyes will be wide awake... So yea I decided to write something in this blog...

Yesterday I got to know where I am going to be posted to for PRCP... I get into a Geron ward again... I got my first choice... GERONTOLOGY... hehes... Im not sure why but I was freaking happy XD... I hope the environment and routine is similar to my previous ward 7A...

Ready or not ready... The time wont stop for me... I have to go through this and try my best...Jia You to the others... We shall pass together..insyallah :)

3 more days of hols.... and stress stress stress here I come...

hehes...

Can I ask you something...
Issit a must to love someone who loves you?
I dunnoe what am I feeling right now... Pity or Love or just Playing around....
I used to think... It's best for me... to stay away frm him...
I don't even know whether he really loves me or not...
Even if he loves me... Love fades right... Especially if you love someone like me...
Sometimes......
I really wish.. that he could just go away and forget about me...
But I know...I will be sad by his absence...
I know getting rid of him is not the best solution...

It is my fault to let him into my life back...
Time cant be turned back right?
& it is definitely wrong to play with ppls' heart..

I dunnoe why... I just cant be satisfied...
Im always not contented...
I have someone who have been loving me for so long no matter wat...
But I still doubt his feelings...

He is different...
He is not like 'him' ( name shud never be mentioned ever ever)..
But.... I still feel.....
I deserve better... :p

wadever... Enuf of my sick bloody hell feelings.. Screw his feelings towards me..
Love will not last forever... it FADES sooner or later... N i cant hold on to him or anyone..
I have to be independant....No matter wad...I cant rely my life on a man...

But.. no matter which angle I see in this so called relationship... It will never be perfect...

Like my life ever gonna be perfect...

2009-12-01T15:37:00.002+08:00

Dear bloggy...

I am feeling damn tired today... Hmm... and sleepy too... but I have to study later... -____-.. its been 6 days I have not studied... So yea... Gotta read up a lot today... I know its sounds boring.. but I guess... Tts the only thing that I feel like doing when I am stuck at home... Pretty much am tired of looking at the com screen.. Thanks to Fidah for lending me her drug guide so I no need to go to mims.. :) May god bless ya babe.. hehes...

Hmm..

Wads up with ex boyfrens and their habit of calling back their Ex GF after a long time of disappearance... LOL... Gawd... JUst leave me the fuck alone... Haiz... Some ppl just dun understand the meaning of ITS OVER!! DONT TALK TO ME ANYMORE IHATE YOU!.... Must I speak in other language?

Guys.. pfft... just like seasons... they come and go as and when they like.... Not worth my time...

Love is a pleasant feeling? Fucking bullshit... It's a pleasant feeling till u get hurt.. XDXD

Hey wassup with me? hmm.. probably feeling grumpy...

~ La la la la la la~

-Peace out-

2009-11-29T21:05:00.002+08:00

Dear bloggy..

I wanna say FINALLY HOME SWEET HOME.. have been away frm the hse way tooo long already...

Ucu's wedding was a joyful success... Finally, she gt married and end her single life... hmm... But I totally hate wen ppl say it is going to be my turn next -_____- Marriage is not something i wanna go thru ever in my life.... Coz there will be soo much responsibilities and so much problems... Marriage is not like a bed of roses... It is pretty much like a ship and it's crew..U need to have a very good captain and a good team of crews in order to sail that ship... If not.. You will easily crashed down by a storm or any other obstacles the sea has..... It is not easy as it looks... Nevertheless... wedding is pretty much an exciting experience... Gosh.... my aunt was very gorgeous yesterday... Like a hot freak,,, N im glad i didnt screw up yesterday... was the freaking bride's maid... Haiz.. but kinda sad though coz Shiqin cant be there.. She gt a dance competition.. We are suppose to wear the cute dresses my aunt bought for us yesterday... n I was wearing it alone... -___- sad... But yea... ppl keep commenting on how small i was beside my brother... I hate those kinda comments... cant ppl ever fucking shut up!!! It's not that I want to be like this.... I dunnoe why I am getting smaller ok!! so fuck you!!! N wats wrong about being short? Issit a sin or sumthin... Stp it sak all ths ppl....LOL wat am i saying... ppl cant really shut up cant they.. Ppl will always keep on commenting wadever they feel like... Without thinking of other ppls' feeling.... Well fuck them anyways,,, I had fun,,, the hotel was damn nice... Feels like a holiday... at some other country.... Haiz... When can I have a real holiday? Hopefully after PRCP... :)

Aites... tts all... PEACE OUT MFs!!

2009-11-24T00:29:00.002+08:00

Dear blogggy...

This is what I have been doing the whole day... Studying... LOL.. It seems that studying will never end.. Like for example, I wanna find out bout this stuff... but later I have to find out about something else that is related to the initial stuff tt I am suppose to learn about.. Its pretty much interlink... but... I enjoyed today... I am happy coz I get to do wat i wanna do today coz im a big fuck of a procrastinator...hehes... It is like an achievement to me... But yea... more studying means more snacking... pffttt gotta watch my diet.... I always wanna go for a day of starvation... but in the end.. the more i think of starvation the more i feel like eating.... haha.... maybe i shud think of being full all the time... Meh... me fat... me skinny... who fucking give an ass rat anyways.. hehes... it is fun to be single ... ~weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Lucy and nizz are missed and loved lots :)

Thanks for your time in meeting us last friday nizz...

N Lucy... meet up soon biatch..

Hugs & Kisses

With lots of Xcore fucking love,SHIDA

2009-11-20T23:24:00.001+08:00

Watched 2012 with Lucy and Niz today... I hate it.... It suck... waste of money... waste of tym.. end of story -______________-

2009-11-19T03:28:00.002+08:00

Dear bloggy

I am happy to say that I passed my recent posting... Thank god... But I know... I need a hell lot of improvement... Today will be my HSE posting... Im reaching to the end of my posting... With a heavy heart.. I am leaving the ward that I have worked in for a month.... But Ive gained a lot of knowledge frm tt ward... From the staff... U know what... the whole 1 month 2 weeks... All Ive been talking bout, all Ive am thinking about is all about nursing... Yea I am stress..... It seems that Imma carry out so much responsibilities in the future... but I am up for it... This is it... there's no turning back... Imma just go for it... Im glad that I ve gained frens during my postings.. They have helped me a lot.. In a lot of ways... H has somehow motivated me in a way... Sumitra have bring joy in the entire posting for me... pretty much i guess it will be dull without her... & yea sze huey too... Pretty much they make me feel that I am not goin thru this roller coster of emotions alone... They are in my shoes too and they understand how stress it is... I thank all of you for helping me... May u guys be happy with ur PRCP posting and hopefully we will meet again someday :)

-Peace out yo-

2009-11-15T22:33:00.004+08:00

Dear bloggy...

I've just got home from my grandma's place... Ate a lot today.. usually I will only eat like 2 meals per day.... But today I ate 5 meals per day.... Imagine how much Ive ate today... Im such a freak... But I swear... I am not concern about eating a lil too much than my usual diet... errrrr.. maybe a little..... Ok... actually.. I am planning not to eat a single solid food for the next 3 days... freaky.... but.... yea... I dun wanna ever be fat... no way.... No offense... but being fat is just soooooooooooo .... undescribable....I mean having fat on me... For those who are fat.... yea.. If u are comfortable with what u are... Then cool... but for me.. If I am fat imma kill myself... LOL... Im ugly... So i cant be fat and ugly at the same time right? That would be just .... gross....But wat I know... I am not suffering frm any eating disorder......I have a goal..Which is to reach 43 kg by the end of the year... So yea baby.. losing more wt... My current wt is 46kg.... so 3 more kg... 3 more pathetic kg...

CAnt wait for the hols to start again....I wanna relax my mind.... N do some studying for PRCP...
hmm... I wonder why.. ppl like me.... Have not quit yet... Whereas.. some ppl.... who have passion in this course... or seem to have.... just quit 3/4 way.... I am not strong..... Dun ever tell me that I am strong.... Maybe its cause im fated to be..... Well... I heard ppl quit this course during PRCP too... will I be one of them???? I hope not.... Even though he is no longer a fren to me... His werds will always be in my mind... The future is not for us to predict.... It's true.... Wat I can do is.... To learn frm my mistakes and gain knowledge and do my best.... Think bout now... stop worrying bout the future....May god be with me... So that I can always do the right things.... :)

During the last hols, Sastra got me stuck on One Piece anime.... And I make Lucy get stuck on it after that... she tagged me this photo in FB and make me Luffy... She is Chopper the cute little reindeer there.... NOTE TO LUCY : PLS NOBODY CAN BE CHOPPER BUT ME :p

XDXD... gosh... i cant believe that I am stuck on cartoon at this kinda age... but yea... this anime have brought me joy..... the characters are just soooo adorable.... So yea anyone who is soo damn down or have a lousy day... this anime wud definitely cheer u guys up... and yea

One more photo... that make me go LOL just now... tagged by Lucy....

And yea of all the ppl... she make me tt old woman in front there.... pfft and make nizzy the moustache guy... kekek per...hahahahhahaah.... siallah lucy ni confirm kau amek dari kau nyek family album kau kn... Ni kaum kerabat kau siul... must respect... lain kali jgn cium tgn.. cium kaki skali... LOL...Nabeh kau :p Anyways... i miss you fucking lots.... lets make passionate love in a dark squeezy closet tml aites...hehes...

Aites.. enuf crap for now...

-peace out-

2009-11-12T00:15:00.009+08:00

Pretty unexpected that Fidah and Wendy came to TTSH today to fetch me after my work... LOLs... Well Fidah have msged me actually that they are coming.. it is just that I was working and didnt really check my msges... Sumitra, Sze Huey and me have planned to watch My sister's keeper today after work... So after we've changed Sze huey told me tt Fidah called her phone.. probably searching for me but cudnt get me... So I checked my phone.. And yea I've realized they reached TTSH already... So sweet of them... Pretty much their presence have made my day :) So I bring them along to Orchard... Had lunch.. and tried to make them watch the movie with us... Fidah finally joined us...but Wendy have to meet her BF.. hmm nvm aites babe we will hang out soon :) Gosh the movie suck... Not sad at all.... Maybe being a nurse make my heart so cold... That death and suffering frm a disease is just ....nothing..... Ive seen worst cases.... at least the girl in tt movie have a family tt care for her until the day tt she died... but some ppl.. Just suffer and die alone... They have children but none visited them... No one to talk to.... Some couldnt even communicate anymore... Suffering the pain in silent... I pity them.... Seriously.... Movies cant be as sad as wad is happening in real situation... Tts y I am here still holding on to this semi profession....But I am afraid that I might not hold on much longer....

Ok,Back to TODAY....LOLs

ORCHARD... gosh... It is filled with beautiful lights and christmas tree... Very very attractive surrounding seriously.. Just feel like tonning there for the whole night..... But to bad we cant :(

SAD!!! hehes

Xmas tree at Orchard

And yea US!!!!!

I had fun girls.... :)

But most of all.... The person who had made my day is FIDAH... haiz... we cant really see each other everyday anymore... but there is this saying in mly... JAUH DI MATE DEKAT DIHATI...hahas babe u are loved :p

Aites.. Adios :)

-PEACE OUT-

2009-11-08T01:39:00.013+08:00

Yesterday has been a cool day... Went out with Lucy and Asswipe.. celebrated Asswipe's bday... XD was fun...My stress has gone for a moment... But even it was for a moment... I am content :) I have never laughed like yesterday.. for a long time... well at least for this week... hehes.... Lucy keep talking bout MANHHOOD.. like stop it sak Lucy...Stop being a perv XDXD... And asswipe just cant stop being a chikopek...We are soo the tak senonoh... but hey... we are just having a bit of fun... Just to seek a bit of happiness... we went to Bugis to eat.. and siallah... The laksa was awesome.... I want more more more more!! grrrr!!!! well today I ate like a pig... So plan for the whole next week --> STARVATION!! ahahahahz.... Wish I can rewind back today over and over again..... Coz.. I dun want this weekend to end :( hehehes.. but too bad... time will never stop for me... sad per...

A birthday cake frm me and Lucy after we main dgn apek tu nyek MANHOOD

to get the cake tau! LOL :p

Hope u like tt cake.. coz we werk hard for it :p LOL

Its the least we cud do XD

Then we went to Vivo... Tt is,after we went shopping with Lucy at Orchard... -________- LOL Penat per gi shopping ngan Lucy...... kaki gue sakit sih sampai skarg XDXD

I miss yall soo much... hopefully to meet u guys again soon... And have a great laugh tgt... Well... Drugs can cure almost any sickness... But laughter is always the best medicine... It is definitely PRICELESS hehes...

Adios freaks....

-Peace out-

2009-10-24T23:43:00.002+08:00

Dear bloggy..

2 weeks have past so quickly... My OT and ED postings have ended.... MOre and more burden have been lifted off my shoulders... But I missed ED though... That posting have taught me alot..
It have enabled me to practice my skills and also help me to have a bit more speed in doin my werk...
Its a wonderful experience and I love all the nursing officers there... They are super nice... Esp Sister Norresah... Those sisters have never scolded their staff... I assume that all the nice NOs and nurses are group in ED.... and left the nasty ones at the wards.. LOL... well... Gerontology.. here I come :)

I've decided as for today onwards... I shall not be in any relationship with anyone...
I cant say for life... As in for now... My love right now is for my family and frens... They are the most important ppl in my life right now... N i want to be always be there for them.. And make them happy all the time for as long as I live... I want to be successful one day... I want stand on my own feet.. I dun wanna depend on anyone anymore... I wanna be independant... besides....
It wud take a long time for my heart to heal in order to go into a serious relationship with anyone... But wadever it is... I always hoping for a happy life for myself in the future.... I've realized that My life is filled with hardships... But after every hardship... God have given me some kinda happiness and satisfaction .... Doesnt matter the hardship im facing now... cause I know My hardwork will pay off soon... Just gotta hold on...

Thanks to my close frens who have been there for me... To listen to all my probs... They were the ones who have been giving me support all this while..Telling me not to giv up and stuff... I guess... god is definitely fair... N i wanna thank him for giving me such good frens.... :)

Underneath the misery.. I found a bit of happiness here and there.... N im happy to be living till today... To prove that I am worth something... N wanna prove that I can be a better person each day :)

2009-10-09T01:31:00.006+08:00

~ Dear bloggy..

Im tired but I couldn't fall asleep... So i guess imma talk crap here for a while...

I wanna change my mindset about guys.. But sumhow... I really can't.... Why most guys are just jerks? Why cudn't they respect us girls? & Why can't they just respect the frenship they have with girls?

Some guys just wanna be frens just to fuck.. Have u heard of "frens with benefit" before another name for sex partner or a "fren" whom u can fuck to satisfy ur lust ..-__-

Some guys.. who have been frens with their girl fren for soo long frm pri sch and end up telling her that he wanna fuck her.. aint tt stupid? What is frenship to them? Obviously they dunnoe what frenship really is.... Frens respect one another.. help one another..Care for one another..Giving motivations to one another...True frens will go thru ups and downs with us together & know their limitations ....

To me.. girls shud be respected & guys shud protect girls instead of destroying their lives... Even though some girls dont wish to be respected.... But most girls do want to be respected but didnt get the respect tt they want frm guys...

I guess the world is going to an end.... LOLs...

BUt wadever it is.. girls shud take care of themselves and not to be fooled by man's sweet talks..

Men are good at making empty promises... & break them like as if those promises meant nothing.... When the girl is holding to tt promise n hoping he will keep it... A girl's heart is very fragile... No matter how tough they wanna be in the outside... Once it is broken... It's gonna take a long time to fix it.... No matter how much woman try to put on a strong face.... She cant really deny that she is very sad ... Cause of a man's cruel doings to her...

So girls have to be strong too...In order to be respected.. we gotta show tt we are worth being respected... No one is worthless in this world unless they think they are worthless... Value ur pride and dignity and never let anyone take it away frm u... Men will be men... We cant really change them.. So we gotta be stronger than them... Cant easily give in...We must not let them do whatever they want to us...

LOL... ok ... enuf for today...

Anyways today was pretty much fun... Actually today was awesome... I get to vent my stress thru singing my lungs out...hehes.. we went karaoke-ing for 3 freaking hours today.. Mai got a free coupon for the room..cool huh...so we just gotta pay for the drinks and the service charge.. N wen the three hours end.. kiter empat mcm budak giler tercarik carik toilet... mwahaha... Fun habes... Kiter melalak mcm budak2 giler... n yea.. lucy , mai and azmi do have great voices... LOL.. Shud karaoke again soon...

And yea here are some snap shots lah kn... nnti ni post macam semuer werds plak kan... hehes

Okie dokie... Guess i gtg... Chiaox

2009-10-07T23:06:00.003+08:00

Dear bloggy...

Am nervous for attachment... but I cant wait for it to come... cause I'm tired of waiting.. I want to get it done and over with.... just 4 more days left...

I have been thinking about my future... and what I want... N I've decided... I want my life the way I wanted it to be... Not to be ruled by someone else... One day... Imma be what I want to be... & own what I wanna own.. & live like how I wanna live...

Fear is my only obstacle.. I'm afraid of failure... But ppl cant get away frm it.. somehow through failure & through mistakes, ppl will learn frm them and improve themselves and be better... I want to be like that...So,I have to put away that fear.. & negative thoughts.... I gotta start thinking for myself.. and stop thinking what am I gonna do for someone else... Cause in order to do stuff for others.. U have to finish up what u have to do first...Do one thing at a tym..

2009-10-01T16:21:00.002+08:00

Suppose to meet Lucy today to cycle.. but unfortunately I can't make it....-__________-
Well... Next tym aites babe... Next tym if I have hols... Maybe I shudnt tell my mum.... Then I can go out every single day... LOL... well today is my brother's birthday..... N I am making his day a living hell... XDXD... im sorry brat... But bullying u is my passion :) Ever since u took away the attention I had before u were born.. u sick bastard!!!Y dont u just die!!! hahahahahahahahahahahahahahhah..... Im just joking... lalalalalalalala... u are 11 now... try to grow up.... U shud learn how to be independant and stuff... and shudnt let ppl like me bully u around..... Learn to stand up for urself... And u gotta always study hard no matter.... It's a tough world... So u gotta Be Stronger can ?

anyways... IM STRESS RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!

I wanted to revise my stuff b4 goin for attachment... but seriously im in a soo lazy mood... NUthing can get in... well.... Imma do it today... at night.... and if at night I cant.... then tml... LOLs... Procrastinating as always.... Shida.. Shida.. wont u fucking change already.. Stop being an asshole...

Oh yea ... I think I've found someone in FB... yesterday I just made an FB account btw :) the story goes like this...Hmm last tym wen i was still in sec 1.. I use to talk to this guy on the phone... Like very often....Quite a funny guy... Never a moment of boredom...N definitely the things we talk about are not mushy stuff.... Cause at tt tym, to me, mushy stuff are just gross!! LOL.. ok..now it is still gross lah...but anyways..I wud always wait for him to call me and we can talk for hours... well not for hours (but that was the first tym i ever talk to a guy tt long or ever talk to a guy on the phone) he have to use a bloody payphone to call me and he will be putting 10 cents after 10 cents... until he runs out of 10 cents..... His mum dun like him talking to girls was his reason.. hmm wadever... Well maybe he turn gay by now... meh hu knows.... well all i can remember bout him is his name and his sec school..... Well maybe the reason tt i still can remember him cause his name is kinda cool... or I just have a good fucking memory... I think I saw him in facebook.... but i dunnoe whether it is him or not.. Meh.... he probably wont remember me.. pfft... u know guys and their short term memory....
LOLs... oh well... I always wanted to know how he look like.... hmm if its really him... then i can die happily knowing how he looks like...LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL.... well... wadever...

~Adios~

2009-09-16T01:31:00.004+08:00

time: 2.15 am

and still I find it hard to sleep :(

im always jealous of the ppl who practically can just sleep in anytime, any place and in any position they are in... I sure want tt.... I need sleeping pills... i want to swallow one whole container of those sedatives..... so i can sleep for a loong period of time...

So here I am... posting another fucking random post... cause wen im in the mode of being insomnic... i tend to think alot stuff at one time...

U know... my attachment days are getting closer... memories of previous attachments... oh boy do I cry alot in those attachments... Every day was a living hell... lecturer aiming at students and asking ridiculous questions... making me feel I aint good enough if I cant answer those questions....like hello! ask the same question to a qualified staff nurse and see whther they can ans ur ridiculous questions... they wud just take a soiled diaper and smashed to ur face and say fuck off bitch ive got werk to do or not the doctor is gonna screw me up and blame all shits on me!!

I am not a very bright student... I have major knowledge deficit on nursing... N boy do i look freaking ridiculous in tt nursing uniform... gosh patient will just poke their eyes out seeing me...

But thank god I've managed to go this far... and surviving...actually struggling.... appearing strong... look knowledgable but deep down a blur cock loser..lol.. but seriously... I know it aint just luck tt have made me this far... but also my hardwork... amazing how a girl like me... who despise nursing so badly... but still here.. standing as yr 3 student... a nursing student....

Well for one reason... my mum gonna skin me alive if say i wanna quit... coz she really hope for me to be a nurse and shud be ready to werk next year.... oooh the pressure... So i gotta be "season" to being called missy for a loooooong tym...

i dunnoe whther ive passed all my modules in the recent exam i took... RESULTS ON 23rd SEPT... DOOMS DAY...
****NOTE TO SELF: HAVE A BOX OF TISSUE ACCOMPANYING ME WHEN CHECKING MY RESULTS....

Im concerned about this coming attachment... More concern than the previous attachments... this is the final one... and i gotta aced it or else....i dun wanna think of the or else... I have gone through a lot of failures in life... but not this time... hopefully i wud pass... :) but still im just scared...coz i dunnoe what will happen in the future...Sometimes things doesnt really go the way I wanted it to be...and tt sorta things really make me feel very disappointed... The feeling of fear has been with me for a long time now... i dunnoe since wen.... n coz of tt I dun have self confidence at all....but i gotta step up... n do all me best.... jiayou to fidah, syed, su and all the other nursing students.... this is our last lab... just keep striving... dont giv up :)

Anyways..

to Lucy : thanks for that sunday post in ur blog.... it really touched me..ermm mentally not physically :p.... and i love you... and i wanna fuck you after this fasting month okies.. :p Ur loyalty as a fren really touches and make me realize how pure friendship really is.... u are my bestest fren... and no way in hell we are gonna be seperated... I wont let tt happen.... coz u are the person that I treasure the most.....

To Anizah : I feel tt our frenship is drifting apart.... we aint tt close anymore... So i kinda feel weird talking to u now... im sorry.... i cant really talk to u like the way we use to talk.... but u had been my best fren.... N i just want to remember u as that close fren of mine wen we are in sec sch... not the anizah now.... I wanna wish u happiness... besides u have no time for me now... i understand.. u have other frens to attend to and have other stuffs to do... i totally understand...
Just one thing though ... I just want to be happy in ur life... jgn buat perkare yg tak senonoh tau :p & i want u to know tt i love you... n u will u be cherished in my heart... tgt with syed... u 2 were the best ppl ever that have entered my life.... may god bless yall...

To fidah : Be strong babe.... even if I aint gonna be with u the next sem... but u can always approach me if u need anything... I will try my best to help... Thanks for everything.. this 3 years with u... knowing u... and going thorugh alot of ups and downs with you have been a pleasure... & im honoured to be ur bestie.... Who wudnt treasure a fren like u... I always remember the help and the motivation u have given me..

Even wen u are sick u have came to sch to support me on my practical exam... and wen i cried cause i ve failed it u were there for me... and wen some asshole just screw my fucking life... u screwed him back... i love u soooo much... hopefully we will be close until.. like forever.... i will never stop saying tt u are the reason why I am still in ths course.. the reason i aint quitting...

lots of love to all the people that made me have the motivation to keep on living.. and make me worth something.... wen others just dun giv a shit....

think i wont post anytime soon... so....

wanna wish allllll the muslim ppl who have been fasting faithfully.. and telah menjauhkan diri daripade maksiat dalam bulan ramadan...

SLAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI.....

(in advance..)

okies... i gtg.... post sum shit wen i feel like it... bye bloggy

2009-09-03T22:38:00.003+08:00

Today My mum bought a Handphone key chain for me...

Hmm.. as I gt older.. I realized that I no need to ask things from my parents..

They wud give me stuff willingly.. Like the PSP.. the new HP.. hmm..

N pity my bro have to ask frm them... hahaha... Life is sooo coool... hmm.. Cant believe i say that

Well its those HP key chain strap.. where I can put my name in.. and add some shit stuff to it...

Well .. I chose this small little key to go with the key chain strap thingy.. wadever u call it...

N my mum say smething like.. U havent yet 21 and you take the key...

Key and 21 years old...

That time Fidah wear a chain with a key locket and also a heart locket...

We went to Mcdonald at school... The auntie.. as usual being her kepo self...

Lol.. just joking.. The school's mc auntie rocks my vagina... they are super nice...

Elderly people... oh yea I love them....

Ok back to the auntie... she ask to fidah whther she is 21.. cause she is wearing the key locket..

Hmmm wat does 21 gotta do with a freaking key??

A key... is pretty much to use to unlock lock doors...

So wen we are 21 we can unlock doors?

as in all this while we are trapped in a certain place...

And when we are 21 .. We will received a key that will free us from that place we are locked in..

Means freedom??

21... FREEDOM...

21... FREEDOM??

Freedom to do watever I want? LOL... tt's something new....

Well lets see if I got this so called 'freedom' when I am 21...-_-

Here is a poem related to being 21

21 years old I used to be

21 years old I used to be,

there is still this scary cat lived inside of me.

Face looked like shit,

and can't even stand on my two feet.

21 years old I used to be,

they said it is time...

I can be free.I was given a key.

"Ouch!!!I fell and landed on one knee.

21 years old I used to be,

admiring guys is my specialty

.Not one, not two, not three and not four.

I dunno it can be more.

21 years old I use to be,

sitting down drinking tea,

my eyes wondered around.

I don't even spare the ground.

21 years old I used to be,

Dreamt to be a beauty.

"Yuck!!! I say like what?

"Not a face, but more like my butt.

So pretty much.. 21 is theh age where you have to stand up on your own feet.. It is where you have become a true adult.. You have the key to your freedom to decide what to do in life... 21 I shall be... in like 2 years time... cant hardly wait to get my freedom :) that's what I have been waiting for my whole life...

Well 21 can wait....

Today has been a tiring day....

Pretty much was out to buy some presents... -_-

I think imma

ZzzZzzZZzzZZ..... Like that's gonna happen.. I such an insomniac.. is that even a word ...

Well before I leave...... I have something to show

Is he reading a book or sleeping while holding a book?

If he is reading.. Gosh may god bless your english to be so good and fluent..

Imma buy toto tml... Not everyday I can see you reading...

If u are sleeping and just holding a book... U just being a typical brother of mine.... -_-

Well Just wanna say something tt I ill never say in front of ya...

I love ya my sicko bro...

Just be good frm now on can???

Or else.....

Aites -_- Bye bloggyy... post again soon... chiaox..

2009-09-01T01:34:00.002+08:00

Thanatophobia... What is that?? It is actually a fear of death... What will happen once u stop

breathing and ur heart stop beating? & It's time for you to leave the earth...

U will leave the ppl u love... Ur job.... Ur money... everything.................

U will be burried 7 feet under....

N will be left all alone....

N the only thing u can have... is ur IMAN

The more I think bout death..

I feel much more afraid...

Not prepared at all to face death.....

With all the sins Ive carried on my back...

Goals have yet to accomplished...

IM not ready yet to face death in the eye...

I am scared... Very scared...

But I know one day I have to face it...

N I hope I am ready for it

2009-08-30T03:59:00.007+08:00

U know elephant use their trunks to carry heavy objects, To suck in water or wadver other stuff only god knows what it is.. They can also use that trunk to punch ur face silly....

But I didn't know that they will use their trunk to do this:

Credits to my bestie for sending me this pic..

Which is now my dp in my MSN.. ^^

Cool ey... They use the trunk to actual fuck..... Fascinating.... 0_0

Look at the smile of this elephant face...

Had fun? I bet u did....

I have realized one thing bout animal and human beings......

Animals can do sex openly in the wild... With people watching... Its normal..Its their nature

but if human beings do that kinda thing in public ..... And expecially at places when it is obviously can be seen by people.... Its just sooooo wrong.....

Having sex indoors and in private is what makes us different from animals....

And by ppl having sex where ppl can see.... Make them no different from an animal...

And they are only attracting Voyeurs like me....LOL

-_-

ok gtg go now...

Posting again later... with much more nonsence -_-

]

2009-08-30T02:36:00.010+08:00

On last Friday,

Me and Fidah watched this movie:

Esther Esther...

What's wrong with Esther...

Well it was a cool movie actually..

If u love some suspense

Pshychotic serial killer movie...

Completely disturbing...

Esther draws porn in her bedroom....

Disturbing aint it

Esher draws porn of her and her dad

More Disturbing...

I draw porn and give it to my bestie as her bday present...

An info that ppl no need to know..

Its just gross XD

Anyways... I've nothing to do.. as usual, me and my insomnia nights.... haiz.. curses!!... But nvm..

Im used to it already....

The one who is sleeping is Esther's so called sister..

Esther is an adopted child in this movie...

So this cute adorable kid down here is deaf...

And she communicate with her family

Using sign langugaes..

Pretty cool :)

Well after that movie, I started to have this certain interest in Sign Languages... I mean.. They are freaking cool... No doubt.... So I have spent an hour just now.. to learn the alphabets and numbers till 1-10... It is quite easy... Plus give my fingers a hell of an exercise... And they are aching actually right now -_-

I saw this kiddish video at you tube too sum up what I have learn...

So let me take you back to nursery or kindergarden...

Lets learn ABC..

Sign Language style

How bout that yo!

And actually if U have master all the alphabets... What I was told was told you can actually make up words out of those alphabets.... Like these as examples

It's actually quite fun learning this sign language.... Meh.. Hu knows.. It can come in handy in the future... ^^

Btw..

I just had ramly burger just now... Taste not really nice... Accidentally took chicken...

--> NOTE TO SELF: If taste food that is weird tasting... check the food... not just continue eating like a hungry ghost...

NVM..

ON monday... I will buy the meat burger Ramli... to satisfy my lust on Ramly punyer burger...

Today I've watched The last house on the left..... Kinda cool.... But really not as awesome as Orphan..

That show really rocks my vagina...

-Peace out yo-

2009-08-29T14:34:00.005+08:00

Im craving for Ramly's burger right now.....

*DROOLS*

I want burger ramly now now now now now now!!!

Hey Ramly... make me some of ur burger lah... i want to eat u know!!

How u make ur burger damn delicious ar...Ehk Ramly I wanna know...

Hey deyy make me one burger ramly with extra yeggg lah deyy..

I want to sapedekyoukepalepundekmaire

Haiyoyo..-_-

There is one time

I go to this Ramly burger stall...

Walowei!! Service damn bad... at one of the baazar at north lah

Customer diri kat depan tak tau amek order..

Customer must shout for order...

The person make customer wait so loong...

Person give wrong order...

Customer must wait for the correct order... -_-

-_________________________________-

Customer pon bleh tido tunggu order

ZzZzzzZzZzzZzzZz

XD

Tapi ramly burger is always sedap!...

Cumer jgn beli lagi kat abg tu!!

dier besar punyek *&%#@$%#$@*&%&@$*

IM bored...

Yey today's mummy's birthday!!!

LOL a year older ... :p

Presents? Wait next year lah hor... When I werk...

Then I will give u anything u want mummy love...

*Hugs* *Hugs*

May god make ur life happy and joyful...

I will try to make u happy too....

And dun worry... u aint hearing no more trouble shiat frm me...

:)

-Peace out yo-

2009-08-28T00:53:00.004+08:00

Mums are the most wonderful , the strongest and the most loving people in the world… They would go through anything for the sake of their children… Just to see a smile on their kids face she would sacrifice anything….

They have never asked anything in return… And it’s their children responsibility when they grow up to take care of them…. In which some neglect…

Forgetting where they came from. They forget who have been taking care of them since young.. Who have tolerated their shits.. Who are the ones who have given them everything…Love, Food and shelter, education… They are the one who have shape us to be people with manners and dignity…

There’s one time

When a mum who has been waiting for her daughter at the MRT station platform since morning till afternoon to go to someone’s funeral… No phone… Worried…. “Where is my daughter?”

Asking a phone from a stranger.. Feeling pitiful to that old lady… The stranger gave the phone to her…. The lady called her daughter… &What did she get…. A huge scolding from her daughter…. Just because that old lady waited at the wrong MRT station… That old lady was like begging her daughter not to leave her to go to that place alone… Cause she dunnoe how to go there… She was almost crying for god sake! Wouldn’t it be better if that daughter fetch her frm her house and go to that place together.. Well at least don’t scold her until like that… The daughter slammed the phone after shouting something to her… And the old lady have to ask the stranger’s permission again to call her daughter .. Probably the daughter slammed the phone half way of the conversation… Siallah.. she waited for u since morning.. and u give her one big hell of a fucking attitude… like wtf!!!! But end up… The daughter ask her to go down at the actual mrt station and she will be waiting for her mum there… The stranger didn’t know what happen to the lady after that.. The face of that old lady… The stranger could never forget.. Pity her… May god always protect her.. from her evil tigress daughter…

N haven’t you realize… The people who sell tissues on the streets are mostly elderly… Pity this one old lady… she was sitting on the floor selling tissues one day… her face ..cant forget her face.. So pleasant.. So pitiful… So tired.. How can her kids let her sell tissues on the streets?? Dun tell me that she chose and planned that when she is old she wants to make a living by selling tissues… MY ASS!!! Maybe she have no family.. or her kids are just too fuck up to even bother bout her… Shud have seen her…Then u will get what I mean.. Feel like bringing her back home..

I really hope that I wont be like those kids who do that kinda thing to my own parents… Sometimes…. People do change after they get power and the ability to stand up on their own feet.. Their salary is damn high.. They can proudly say “ Whatever money u spend on me.. I can pay u everything back now” with arrogance on her face… talking to her parents… & I really hope I am not one of them… But think of the bright side.. Im just gonna be a nurse… hmm.. My salary? Haha will take a lifetime of hard ass work to payback everything I owe -_-

Anyways…From these stories… The point that I want to bring out is… Don’t ever ill treat your parents… Even if they were not the best parents … But they have raised you since you are young… Be happy that they are still living.. Some kids don’t even have parents… they don’t feel the love like we do… And we being so priviledged.. Haven’t been thankful… Every time mum nag.. “WISH MY MUM IS DEAD!!” “WHY DIDNT SHE ABORT ME IF I ONLY LIVE TO BE NAGGED & SCOLD BY HER…”
And all other nonsensical remarks… Which sometimes I would say.. LOL…

But my mum.. even though not the perfect mum in the whole entire world.. But I can't think of anyone else to replace her... She,who have planned my future … Organized in a file with various dividers…LOLs,, From school till marriage ( in which I don’t want to.. but I cant possibly tell her..shhhh) .. And planned how much of my salary I should give her.. when I work… and lots more.. I shall not mention..If not this post will never end… But I guess… Thanks to her planning… U know.. at least I have something to achieve in life… At first.. It started off with something that she wants and I have to fulfill it.. But as time passed..I feel that… actually I want this... I guess without her strict guidance… I would be nothing…
She was the one who motivates continue my education and to never give up.. And she makes me feel I am playing a big role in this family.. I have a sense of purpose in life.. N I really want to fulfil her wishes... before I die of some stress causing cancer.. LOL... Me and my fantasy of how I wish I could die... Cancer would be a cool thing.. just joking...

Aites.. tts all aites...

- CHIAOX-

2009-08-27T21:36:00.005+08:00

Today paper was hard....

But I did my best....

N I am hoping for the best...

*praying really hard*

Well I know someone who say never study but end up doing her paper confidently...

That person whom I dun wanna mention anymore in my whole entire life.....

Im glad I am no more a 0720 moron...

N im glad... that I have completed my academic modules in NYP....

*Praying hard hard hard.. NOt to have supp..or even repeat module..I have enuf..pls...*

But I know this is just the beginning of a new journey for me... And I can't wait to know

What is up for me in the future... N no doubt.. imma do my best.. and shall never give up..

Cause I know I can't predict the future... And anything could happen...

Miracle do happen...N i've realize hard work does pays off...

& u know what...

Imma stay positive...

I don't wanna be the depressed pathetic loser that I was...

What's the use anyways.... Being pathetic does not solve any problem....

Imma try to stand on my own feet...

I want to prove that I can be independant...

N I no need a freaking dude to rule my life.... and tell me what to do...

Cause they can kiss my freaking feet...

Fuck them anyways

Anyways....After my exam today... I went to break my fast with Fidah who is sweet enuf to

pretend to

fast just cause she want to break fast with me.....

We're Accompanied by the 2 craziest monkies in the whole entire universe...

No doubt they are insultive and vulgar ppl... But they made my day... seriously...

They are soooo freaking funny....N I am happy for Fidah to have friends like them...

Cause they appreciate their friends... unlike some asshole I know....

fuck that bitch....

Me and Fidah made a wish on a lucky stick... well lucky stick which is actually a cigg....

Funny huh...

Ppl wish upon the stars but we wish upon a cigg stick... LOL...

Well.. wadever.... XD

Kiwi and and Turtle have to go...

& me and Fidah continue to hunt for more food... To staisfy our LUST... on food...

The Briyani at the woodlands bazaar was fantastic !! and so as the kebab.. maybe cause we are

freakin hungry ....if u give us stones and put a bit of ketchup or chilli sauce we probably wud eat

it.... But dun give us pork pls huh... that is for the H1N1 ppl.... Who wipe their asses with tissues

but when they wanna sit at the MRT bench , need to wipe lah... or sit at the very edge lah...

Eh clean ur backside properly first lah ok!!

N look at the way they eat... OMG... so ugly... Like never eat for 10 years like that....

Especially when they are eating their favourite food... Pork something something.... -_-

Wadever... 0_0

Aites thats it for today... Blog again soon... chiaox

2009-08-25T00:23:00.003+08:00

My life is empty without u....... Food......

I miss the time munching u in every break time....

I miss u being there for me in my every depressed moments

Feeling you.. Smelling you and tasting you.......

I wish we could be together always....

But too bad we can't.....Only at certain times that we can meet ... sad :(

GOSH IM MISERABLE!!!!!!!!!!!

But nvm....

for god sake...

I shall fast..

XD

Gosh im stressed out...

Haiz... Pfft.. Pftt..

AN 5 suck balls can????

pass? supp paper???

But one thing.... I know..I have tried my best :)

pls Allah.. give me a miracle.. I hate supp paper.. :(

I have to pass.... Have no choice but to pass :(

2009-08-21T20:29:00.005+08:00

It's been 2 days straight I am having my exams...
Today.. at the exam hall.... A one hour paper...was freaking retarded...

The lecturer announced that students can start writing already....
Like 20 mins later, Wei Jie raised up his hand....
He asked the stupidest question ever...

True.. I find that question weird too... The options are not the exact answer should be... But I just chose the option which is close to the correct answer should be.. And MOVE ON... BUT NOT THIS DEAR BOY

The question is something like; put the correct way of communication in the correct sequence... and they were 4 different options... But the options were weird.. None of the sequence is correct.. Frm what the lecture notes have written..

It was suppose to be situation first, followed by background, followed by assessment, followed by recommendation...if u combine the front letters together it creates somethig like SBAR..But none of the options were put in that sequence...

But this dear boy... Was a freak.. He asked the lecturer whether the question is correct or wrong... Then the lecturer said... Yes.. it should be correct.. He argued with the lecturer.. And end up practically saying the answer loudly... He was like " OH but from what we learn its suppose to be like this........" he keep saying "SBAR", "SBAR", "SBAR" FOR FUCK SAKE!!!! STOP SAYING OUT THE ANSWER!!! he was pretty loud... and he is freaking lucky he is not disqualified from the examination.. And becoz of him the lecturer have to go to the front and announced to the whole bunch that the question have nothing wrong with it....

Was laughing at him.. in my heart of course.. wad an idiot!!!.. LOL LOL LOL... but god was angry.. and punished me for laughing at weijie and keep calling him a moron in my heart while doing the paper...My pen dried out of ink half way... CURSES!!!! HAIZ.... then slowly shaking the pen and doing my essay... and u know what.. by the end of the day.. I am the moron... I didnt read the instructions properly.. Suppose to answer 1 question only for the essay bt I went to answer 2.. imagine with a almost dead pen doin 2 essays... i was like saying "subhanallah" quite loudly when I saw that instruction and take a pencil and cancel the first essay.. and pretty much the ppl around me look at me like I am some kinda psychotic freak talking to myself... and I was like "STOP CREATING ATTENTION TO URSELF BITCH!" and smiled to myself... CURSES!!! lol.... It was a freaking one hour paper.. & I am glad it is over.... I went of the examination hall with a full bladder... Having the freakiest urge to urine... Haiz... CURSES!!!!... XD

ANYWAYS.. THANKS FIDAH FOR ACCOMPANYING ME UNTIL THE SPORTS HALL... PRETTY MUCH U BOOST UP MY CONFIDENCE.. & FINALLY I DID STEP INTO THAT EXAM HALL... AFTER A FEW EPISODES OF HESITATIONS..... U'RE SUCH A DARL.

~~SOCIO~~

~~MANAGEMENT~~

AN4

AN5

AN3

3 more exams to go.... CANT WAIT FOR IT TO BE OVER!!!! EXAM IS KILLING ME!!!!!!!...

Anyways before I end this post.. I wanna say....

To all muslims.. SELAMAT MENYAMBUT BULAN RAMADHAN.... puase jgn tak puase tau!!! Banyak lah membuat ibadah dalam bulan puase ini.. JAUHKAN DIRI DARIPADA PERBUATAN MAKSIAT!!!!!!!INGAT TUHAN SELALU AKAN MELIHAT PERLAKUAN KAMU SEMUA.. mwahahaha...

-peace yo-

2009-08-18T21:40:00.004+08:00

Why must freaking guys exist in this world..

Where are all the nice, unsuperficial, respectful, sincere & romantic guys go to?

Definitely not in Singapore I assume.... -_-

I have this hatred towards men....

I dunnoe why...

The stories I'v heard about them and the experience in a relationship with men..

Makes me feel... HAving a man in my life just ain't worth it....

Majority.. not all... men go for looks and looks .. and looks....

But can good looks stay forever?

Then how about the heart?...I've seen alot of girls with good hearts...

But men reject them cause they are not good looking...

But in the end, can good looks determine a good and long lasting relationship?

What if the girl has good looks but have the worst of attitude and charactheristic ..

Would you think that relationship will last?

Oh.. I forgt.. MEN... only go for sex.. so they dun give a damn bout what is inside...

JUst pure lust...

So...if that girl have lost her beauty... You will just leave her?

Like duhh... No doubt....

Those men... are not men.. but they are just dogs...

They shud be shot in the head.. have their body parts chop off starting frm their private parts

And throw those body parts to the crocodiles.. in the zoo..

Guys always discriminate girls who are fat...

See fat girl... Called them a cow... For god sake!!!

Look yourself at the mirror...

Their hearts are damn prettier than ur freaking face....

Can't stand ugly guys...

They are not perfect in their looks but want a gorgeous babe to be their lover..

Oh please step nk ader standard konon... loser MF...

Padehal... Siallah.. My foot and my necrotic toe is much more cuter than ur face lah seh...

Some guys promise they wont do this and that as they claim tt they are respectful guys.. They are not into this kinda hanky panky shit....

But in the end... They do everything... That are totally opposite of what they say...

GUess.. they are only good with saying promises... but never keeping it...

U know wat , superficial sex maniac guys deserve to die a miserable death....

I curse them to have permanent erectile dysfucntion for the rest of their lives...

So as they could never enjoy the pleasure of having sex anymore...

So as they wont destroy any innocent girl's virginity & dignity...

Those animals deserve to rot in hell...

Well another random post.... A subject about men.. that me and Fidah have discussed during our studying tgt aka lesbian session tgt today.... and we agreed on one thing... MEN ARE PIGSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

ONly look at the outside never in the inside.... And pretty much we have been heart broken due to this superficial men...Well once we've got a stable job and money... Why in the hell we wanna look for a man to marry.. Bloody hell... we can support our own finance.. And screw those men whom we sheded our tears for... Cause i know one day... we are gonna laugh at our stupidity.. crying for a man.. Aint worth it at all....

2009-08-17T00:56:00.004+08:00

Having a break while studying again... Found these vids while searching for MAD TV shows in youtube to relieve my stress... Stuart really made my day today :) He make me laugh my ass out... :D

2009-08-14T20:35:00.004+08:00

I wanted to have a nice afternoon nap... Coz my head is aching for no reason... Well.. no worries its normal.. Im a diseased freak... Every part of my body will ache for no reason... Haiz... Well let me continue.. was wanting and yearning for a nice afternoon slp wen Su Hua msged me saying tt Miss Cheah havent received our assignement on management... Fuck tt bitch sial... Ive sent already ok.. Its in my SENT ITEMS for god sake.. ask her to dig her on fucking grave...See lah... Want to send H/W via email konon... CB... Then last min say havent receive..Might as well she make us print the H/W and give it to her personally kan?what nonsence... Haiz Haiz.... my 20 percent you know!!! grrrr!!! Exam is a pain in the ass.... I have to depend on my ICAs and assignments to pull up my points... cause i gt a feeling imma suck... Pfft... but wadever.... I dunnoe whther I have hope to pass.. And I'm scared... I have to pass no matter wat -_- And Im just at diploma level... Imagine if I am taking a degree.. I will commit suicide sial.... fuck fuck fuck.... Anyways...... Gotta start studying soon... Gotta clear my mind... 0_0 Pfft.. Might as well die right.. no need to think about a thing anymore... ARGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!

*sigh* *sigh* and more *sighssssssss*

-Peace out yo-

P.S Thanks Laiying for spotting my admin card...Im such a careless freak.. And thanks Yus for keeping it for me... May god bless u guys... Pfft.. since when im into this blessing shiat....

byes.....

2009-08-13T00:00:00.003+08:00

I had a massive menses cramp yesterday and cudnt sleep the whole night and end up waking up late... My lesson had ended already by the time I woke up.. Im fucking pissed.. but wadever....
Hang with Lucy the whole day.... Slept at her house... Making up the sleeping time I've wasted...
Just started studying today.... But pfft... My brain just don't want to absorb anymore infos.. So Ive stopped.... Hopefully tml my brain dun play cb with me and absorb more infos....
Okie gotta go to sleep.... Imma study agaiin in sch tml..... IDC... will be rotting in school at 8 am or 9am... Meh, see what time I wake up..

Lesson starts at 1pm.. So I am literally will be rotting in school tml... NO life.... XD okies... Gotta go to bed.... ~toodles ~

2009-08-10T22:44:00.004+08:00

Just finished with my assignment on Management..Sent too Miss Cheah already.. but dunnoe whether I should print a hard copy just in case... Hmm.. I want my 20 percent ICA marks OK!!
Cant afford to loose any marks...Anyways gonna start studying tml.. Had a terrible headache today... Can't get infos to my head.. so whatever...

Hmm no mood to study but have the mood to browse around some shit websites... I saw this love poem while browsing through the net.... Yea a love poem... Im so out of love.... But I like this poem.... Direct and full of emotion... There is no need to analyze or read in between the line like those poems I was forced to read during literature lesson back in secondary school... Oh those miserable days.... XD

The poem goes like this:

Tear drops from my face falls into the palms of my hands

I thought he was my true friend until I fell for him and made him my man

Trust is no longer a factor 'cause all you do is lie to me

I want to let you go as a man but not as a friend so I cry myself to sleep

Love, trust, and respect is what I had for you through it all

The love is still there

The trust is dead and respect broken down

If we would have just been friends would it had been so different?

I've built my emotional walls back up

My heart has to keep it's distances

I'm tired of crying over you and feeling so confused

My friends tell me "Now girl you already know what you need to do"

But I can't let him go

My heart says We're still not through

I'm torn between the lies and the truth

And yet I still want to be with you

If you were me what would you do?

The tears that I shed over you

when I feel that you just don't care

Only hurts so much because when you need me I'm there

I know I have to move on without you here by my side

But then I think back and doubt if I'm really that strong

why have I let people play with my mind this long

and I still haven't moved on

Maybe because no matter what we've gone through

I finally know with you is where I belong........

Moving on.....

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Hmm... Shall I go to school tml...Shall I not... Im so bored stepping to NYP...... Im sick of it..SHIDA just 3 more weeks... and no more sch... tt is if i dun fail any modules.... haizzzzzzzzz..

May Allah bless my life...Amin...

2009-08-10T13:57:00.004+08:00

Today is the day I will start to study.... N i can't hardly wait for the 6 weeks holiday.... In which I will be engross in books and more studying... There's no more time to play around anymore.It's time to enter the adult world of boredom and working till you drop....

Anyways.. I've found a note in my room...Was supposed to be inside a heart box a fren once gave it to me...I probably have thrown it out coz I want to use the heart box for props in my role play.... It was a note from F... F wrote:

Dear Syah,

Haha, nice to be the same ICA group as you. Don't be discourage by

what people say about your skills(: You are good in both attitude towards nursing :D

Must study hard and graduate tgt(:

* Don't skip class!

Your sincerely,F

But too bad.. that friendship didn't last very long.. Hmm.. No doubt we still do talk... And those times with her can be rather funny... But those can only be memories.... Graduate tgt would be fun if we were as close as last time... But now...... Graduating tgt meant nothing no more.... But no doubt.. I will miss F...

Moving on.....Friends were gained.. & Friends were lossed along the way..... It's like that.....

But the friend that I wouldn't want to loose at all is that someone who will be there for me no matter what..Who can tolerate my weird charactheristics and wont be pissed at me even if I showed the uglliest attitude to her..... N u know hu u are.... I love you babe....

2009-08-08T19:12:00.009+08:00

I have deleted my facebook cause ppl tagged me with ridiculous photo of me in FYP.... pfft....

Go get a life ppl!!....

Anyways...... There are some photos I saved... Just a memory of FYP..

Its pretty much about an anti smoking campaign

Our theme is on

Save Money Save Health

The mascotts of the day SU HUA AND PETER

Pity them have to walk around the canteen with such ridiculous look

Me and Sze Huey.. Waiting for the next skit

This is my lecturer on my right.... who mke us repeat the sex scene for 3 times!! :3The chubbiest cute girl in my class...Someone with a great heart , Charmaine

The class photo ( The FYP leader tt I have mentioned all this while is the one lying at the front row)

Miss Au says after graduation... We are going to go through this stage where we will be mourning... CAuse we will be seperated frm one another... To tell u the truth...

I dont think I will even mourn ... I will be happier... to leave this class instead...

Like I say... This class never give me happiness.. or any joy...

Just humiliation and sadness....

I feel damn outcast to be in this class.... Im sorry I have to say this...

BUT FUCK 0720!!!!!

Fidah Darl will always be missed.... The one who stood by me for this 3 years...

The person who made me feel like im not alone in this class...

I would be lying If I say I dont miss some ppl in the class...

Fidah will be missed....

Wei Xiao, Su Hua, Hong Yu and Peter & Charmaine.. Will always be there..

Whenever I need help.... The most approachable ppl in class...And the sweetest

No doubt

Yus (a better leader than tt butch cud ever be!!! ) & Safiah....

The most reliable ppl in the class....

2009-08-08T15:29:00.003+08:00

5th of August 2009...

The death of my pride and dignity :(

Tt stupid lecturer of mine is the one who is responsible for this shit...

Smoking causes Erectile Dysfunction...

Its true....

But the percentage of it is LOW....

Yes.. it can make a great impact for men to stop smoking....

Come on men LOVE SEX...

and not being able to do tt...

Can make them go crazy....

BUT FUCK IT!!!!!!!!...

She dont have to make us do the sex scene A LOT OF TIME

To emphasise that smoking causes erectile dysfucntion!!!!!!!

Because of that skit.. i guess.... I have lost my libido to do sex in the future.....

Shall bury it together with my dignity and pride....

RIP

To Shida's

Pride,dignity and Libido

27-12-1990 - 5 August 2009

Pfft.......

But FYP ends tt day....

WADEVER BITCH move on!!!

haiz haiz haiz....

Exam is in like 2 weeks time...

Havent started on any revisions...

Nursing management assignment havent start yet...

Im a goner....

aint giving up though ......

STUDY BITCH!! STUDY!!

BE a nurse like wat ur mum wants u to be...

be a miserable fuck....

If u are lucky enough...

U will grow old and be leaving alone with plenty of cats to accompany u in ur death bed....

LOL...

Sounds like a freaking sadist bitch huh....

Okie gotta stop over reacting....

No matter what I gotta pass with a better GPA than last sem...

I got 2!! I got 2!!

N I guess being a nurse ain't tt bad.....

N im glad FYP finally ended.... Even if I have to humiliate myself and will be traumatized

in doing sex in the future.... But I really thank everyone who have helped the role play group...

I love Yall so much..... And I still hate the FYP leader... SHE SUCK VAGINA!!!!!!

ok * breathes in* and *breathes out*

Continue:

So now....

Moving on to another problem... And solving it... :)

HAnding in assignment on time

*Study for exam is a big challenge!! *

EXAM.. hope I dun screw up...

TTSH posting for a month on A&E , OT and Geron

*PRCP* I will be stressing, crying, and wanting to commit suicide no doubt about it.... SYED!!
need ur words of encouragment at this time!!!!!!

BEING A NURSE ... lagi more STRESSSS!!!!!!

lol... i guess i have to face all this like a woman!!

Even if I am not ready to be a nurse...

I shall endure and learn....

I really hope to see the light by the end of the tunnel soon. :)

Okies... gues i gtg bath.... before people starts coming to my house.....

To asswipe: Cheer ups aites.... U will be the popular asswipe who will always get hot gals to date & definitely have alot of frens to hang out with in the future.. NS sucks... but just hang in there......

Before I end this post.. I just gotta say something....

What is the use of having a lot of friends... When none of them were true to u....
What is the use of having a lot of friends... when not even one of them wanna be ur best fren.....But what is use of having best friends.... when U cant even trust them.......

~PeAce~

2009-08-03T23:30:00.002+08:00

Today.. Had the weirdest thought ever.... When I was leaving the house.. and down the stairs.. I just wished tt he would be waiting for me down stairs... Waiting for me with a bouquet of flowers... as a sign of apologies... XDXD.... But as expected no one was waiting for me.... Continue dreaming... Cause tt thing would not happen to me.... I ain't worth it I guess... The people who are worth wating for are gorgeous people.. Not an ugly fuck girl like me.. Shame on me to expect such a thing... LOL....Shedding tears for no reason.... Having reality smacked on the face is pretty much hurtful... And there is no such thing as a dream can become a reality... Not for a person like me.....

2009-08-03T00:21:00.002+08:00

Dear bloggy I did a personality test... Which somewhat... Describes myself... Accurately.... Well not a hundred percent though.. But fair enuf... Here are the results:

Your view on yourself:

You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties. ( Yea I am an efficiant problem solver... Have been cracking my head all these while)

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for

You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true. ( I will do anything for tt guy..But tt guy will never do anything for me. Conclusion: No need a love life!)

Your readiness to commit to a relationship

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person. ( Gosh.. Will I ever meet the right person?? Just feel like wanting to be single!!)

The seriousness of your love

Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates. ( I use to have dates alright...Not plenty though..Im an ugly fuck.. Most guys I've dated will end up being JERKS!!!!!!)

Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can. ( True.. can't depend on guys to support me!)

The right job for you

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life. ( I'm studying to be a nurse..That's stable..But not a job I want to spend my whole life doing..)

How do you view success

You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying. ( Hahaz... gone through ups and downs.. But yea Im still ain't giving up just yet..WORKING TOWARDS SUCCESS YO!)

What are you most afraid of

You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel. ( DEFNITELY TRUE! Anger plus vulgarities)

Who is your true self

You like privacy very much because you enjoy spending time with your own thoughts. You like to disappear when you cannot find solutions to your own problems, but you would feel better if you learned to share your thoughts with a person you trust ( 100 percent true.. No doubt bout this)

If u guys wanna try this quiz...

Go this website
-->

http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

I dunnoe whether the result is accurate for u... But no harm trying..

=)

-Byes-

2009-08-02T02:14:00.004+08:00

Was at www.stomp.com.sg just now... Pretty much it is a website that contain issues that are happening in Singapore.. Some random pics were taken..For example couples being caught having sex in outdoor in broad daylight... And the person who took the photo will talk about it... And the other people who are registered to that website can leave comments on that kinda bahaviour.. GET THE PICTURE?

There is one issue that caught my interest the most.. & I guess I have to bring this issue here.. It's about this couple... They were seen talking rather loudly at first....

but then .. Later.. They guy start to put his hands underneath the girl's shirt and tried to go up to the girl's breast...

The girl took her bag and try to cover her chest area... The guy realized that she was uncomfortable about it and try to talk to her...

& continued by putting his hands underneath the girl's top from behind trying to undo the girl's bra....

The girl hesitated but didn't know how to turn the guy down and stop the guy from disgracing her infront of the public...

And nobody helped her.. Not even the guy infront of the couple.. There were a lot of people in the train... But no one helped her... there are MEN in the train.. but none of those MEN helped her!!!!

The person who wrote bout this issue was the one who yelled at him to stop...But OMG.. Nobody else want to help.. They just stared at what the guy did to that poor girl.. Like a free show.. I can imagine the whole thing clearly... What happen to these people nowadays? A girl being molested.. & everyone ignored? The girl couldn't scream for help cause that was probably her BF or sumthin..& she dont want her BF to get into trouble or wadever shiat..I dunnoe whats her freaking reason...

But what do they need a red carpet? An invitation to help tt poor girl... Maybe these people don't know when to MIND THEIR OWN BUSSINESS and when to GIVE HELP TO THE PEOPLE IN NEED.. Bless tt persn who have helped that girl.. Watsup with MEN anyways... Can they wait until they are in a private place to do that? Do they even think of their girlfriend's pride and modesty when they do all that shit stuff in the public... GUYS ARE SO DESPISABLE!!!!! They do not think with their brain but with THEIR PENIS...

Anyways take a look at that website and read the issues being brought up... Some are interesting.. But some are just LAME.....

~ ADIOS~

2009-08-01T23:30:00.007+08:00

LOLs... Just plain emo-ing...

Anyways..I had fun today... I really do.... But I dunnoe why... There is still a part of me... Still feeling sad....

Grrr.... What is the hell is wrong wth me!!

Anyways... finally met Asswipe again after a loooooooong time.... Freaking miss him like hell..

Went out of Lucy and Asswipe today.. Went to watch HANGOVER... SO FREAKING FUNNY CAN? Every freaking part of it is funny lah.. Its like about 4 guys having a bachelor party at Vegas but the worst thing they woke up the next day not remembering what they did the day before... Its like DUDE WHERE'S MY CAR... but this is more freaking funny.. especially when this dude make a baby wank himself..like WTF... A good movie to relieve all your stress and just Laugh your freaking ass out!!!

Then we went to Marina Square to eat Nasi Ayam Penyek... Walaowei.. pedas nak mampos seh... But nice.. But too bad we missed the fireworks.. hmm.. Not really lah nampak sikit2 ajelah.. but pretty much the fireworks aint that big fuck of a deal... The big deal is to be with my dear friends.. lepas tu kiter lepak2..Tak igt rumah langsong.. Come on who does? Kalau boleh nak overnight at that place.. But what to do...

I & Lucy rushed back home... Cause we dont want to be nagged at by our mummies...

But even if we were going to get the nag of our lives.. It is all worth it...

We need 2 have fun once in a while.. Or not we gonna turn extreme crazy...

Ok .. Pretty much..That's all....

& Oh yea

We manage to survive a day without ciggarette...Isn't that cool.... I really wish to quit smoking..

WHy smoke when you can just chill? XD

But whenever Im stress.. I just keep smoking.... Gotta have a substitute 4 ciggarette...But what can be a perfect substitute for it?????? hmmmmm....*thinking and thinking*

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> :0 ZzzzzzzzzzzZZZzzzzzzzzzZZZZzz...

Hehes...

& yea one more thing.......I wanna say...

LUCY AND ASSWIPE ARE LOVED... *HUGS* *HUGS*

...........................................................................................................................................................................

AND SUMMORE PICX

...........................................................................................................................................................................

^_^

Wasting time while waiting for the movie.....

See Lucy.. Her rules : B4 eat, must pose first....

I want to eat nasi ayam penyek again sia....Next time we eat again okies??

Hehes...

-Chiaox-

2009-07-31T00:29:00.004+08:00

Another day ..Another FYP meeting.. another rehearsal..
When will all this ends :(
Tml I have to wear formal for this stupid presentation..pfft..
Dragged Fidah along to present it with me... Cause she is my booster..Someone who boost up my confidence.. Someone who would be there for me... A friend tt will stand by me..... A true fren.....
Like I've said... She is the reason I am still in this school..In this course.... May god bless her.. and give her a better life.... She had suffered enough..Pretty much life isn't really fair for her...
Cheer ups Fidah.... I really wish we could graduate tgt..... I dont want to graduate alone with this stupid class...I want to be with u..... We have gone through shits tgt...

I failed my pract test for the first attempt last monday...I felt miserable as fuck.... But people from other classes.. wen they fail.. they have their classmates to support them..But I only have Fidah...

Nina was like asking me when we were waiting for Miss Susan for remedial class..She was saying " Why they ( ppl sitting outside the next door) can be so happy and cheerful even though they have failed?"... Nina, the answer is simple..Cause they have motivations from their classmates.. Their classmates pull them up whenever they feel down.. but not 0720... they will look down on you if u fail...They dont give a fuck bout u if u fail... When u fail.. then dont come to u and say.. "Its Gonna be alright"..or.. "Dont worry we will practice together again ok?"... but they just kepo2 at you ask why u fail .. what is your mistake...& blah blah blah.. until u feel like slapping their faces... Ive been in that situation..So I know.... Call themsleves FUTURE NURSES... hahaha.... I wanna laugh my lungs out till I puke and DIE..Just fuck them... Always a pain in the ass... NEVER have I felt joy being in tt class....

I have a problem again..On FYP presentation tml..The other 2 grp members are freakin useless...
Should make them the fuckin leader... then they know the stress......My lappy is whacked...
I need to ask favour from Lucy again....To borrow her lapy fr presentation...
Pathetic huh... I just don't like asking favours and stuff.. But what to do....Im always a blacksheep.....

Hope tml's presentation will be fine.... ^^ INsyaallah :)

I thought I am happy already that I am free.... But why I keep thinking bout him...& Feel so miserable again :(

But I cant turn back ...I just can't.... :(

Gosh when can I be happy again....

2009-07-29T23:27:00.004+08:00

Dear bloggy..

I passed my practical today...
FINALLY...
hees...
Another burden is being lift off my shoulders...
Bless Miss Susan for making the 3 of us pass today..
She nags alot but she is funny...
Im glad she is my lab lecturer for my last year in poly..
Everyone pretty much dislikes her.. cause they have not been her students before..
She is a mean beast during assessment .. No doubt bout tt...
But in class... She have shown such a caring attitude towards us..
There's one time I remembered I cried during lab lesson...
She cant stop asking why I cried...
Even though I just ignored her..
But she still approached me after she have finished her lesson..
I definitely wont forget Miss Susan.. ^^
Thanks to her I dont have to do my retest tml with a fuck up lecturer
Different lecturers..Different expectations.. N i dont know what are their expectations..
So no more stress about lab.. I sure hope overall I will pass..
Having a retest on everything again is a nightmare....
Now I feel relaxed....I've not been myself for the past weeks... There's FYP.. LAB TEST.. RELATIONSHIP...ICAs.... Feel like pulling my hair till I become bald!!!
I have broken up with him.....
Like what Syed have said.. Just let him go....
I feel so free.... N dont have to put up with his behaviour anymore...
Im a free bird.... Maybe I am meant to be single...
Single = Freedom ^^

~ SHIDA is a single and independant woman...I dont give a fuck bout ppl with penis...& I am for real yo~

I will stand up for what I have said to him...that I will never reply to his msges..Never want to have any contact with anymore...& I will never turn back... I guess this is goodbye..
Cause I ain't falling back to u anymore... I love you..& I miss you too.... But we are too different..
U can't understand what I want...& I cant understand u either... I only can wish you happiness...
& hope our path would never cross again....

2009-07-28T20:24:00.004+08:00

I felt my heart crushing into pieces..When will this pain disappear... I've work soo hard.... But it seems that my effort wud always gone to waste... What is god trying to show me??? My mind is not focus.... I can't stop thinking....Sometimes I ask myself..WHY ME? Why not other people...Why is it have to be me?? I'm trying to have a positive mindset bout everything...But there is always someone and something that will always pull me down.... Its not that I want to stay negative all the way... But certain situations pull me down...N its hard to get right back up...
I know I cant be this way and I shall not give up just yet.... Imma hold on with everything that I've got... And be strong.... For the sake of my family.... I want to make a difference...I cant give up and will not give up....Even if I have to go through it alone....

2009-07-26T19:18:00.003+08:00

Dear bloggy this few weeks have been very busy... Tml, I will be having a pract exam..
Wish me luck...
Gosh im scared to death when it comes to practical..
Its like the lecturer can just say.. "U sure it is the right thing to do"
When I am in the middle of doing tt thing I am doing..
Gosh... And I will be stunned and my brain start to panic... Everything in my brain will be blank... and i will fail...BUT
That is not gonna happen tml...
Ive work so hard ... I deserve to pass... everybody deserve to pass...
We have been working so hard... Year 3 have been a pain in the ass... Cant wait to get out of sch...
But have to go through FYP first...
*sigh* *sigh*..
Tml is goin to be a marathon..
1st- Pract exam
2nd-Presentation on Sociology
3rd- FYP rehearsal and meeting...

If i Fail my pract.. I will have n mood for the other 2 stuff..
So pls pls god.. make me pass tml pract exam... PLSSSSSSSSSSS
dont make life harder for me....
:(

2009-07-03T23:28:00.003+08:00

Dear bloggy...

Today is my daddy's bday...
Happy birthday 46th bday my daddy love...
We have made a surprise for him...
It was some crazy shiat...
But it was fun.. He never expected it...
Hey no matter wad... He is our dad..N my mum's husband..
His birthday is important to us...
Cause he is important to us....
N dont worry aites daddy..
I know how to take care of myself..
No matter wad happens..
I wont get myself into deep shiat...
N imma make u proud one day...

My family is fucking dysfunctional..
How can a family who is made up of
different types of age group ever get along...
We see a certain problem in a different way
Our cognitive thinking and ways to solve a problem are totally
different...
We may have our differences
But what actually make us still together...
Maybe its the bond that we have made for the past years..
My family may not be perfect....
but I love them....
I may be the one who always try to solve all my probs myself..
But I know they willl stand by me.. whenever i need help...
pfft...
i guess..
They will be the only family I will ever have...
Cause my mind is straight....
I dont want to have my own family....
UNLESS...
I find a right guy... a perfect guy... ermms...
In which I dont think im ever gonna find him...
He is not the one for me...
N i will slowly fade frm his life...
MAYBE im better off alone...
;)

~ SHIDA the lonely spinchter gonna be~

2009-07-02T22:21:00.003+08:00

Life can cause pain sometimes...
But never ever wish that u have never been born..
Instead thank god that you are here so that u can experience the ups and downs of life...
Life has been down for me right now...
But i know...
If i hold on much longer...
I will be happy in the future...
LOLs..
Words of motivation from me to me...
XD

.... If u really love that someone... You wouldnt care how he looks...
But i do pity him though.... Wish I could help....... Ive gone through tt kinda thing before...
I just gotta help him... I wanna make him happy... but how can i make him happy.. when I, Myself, aint tt happy either... Thats why I gotta bounce back frm all this miseries and the feeling of patheticness...I have to be strong.... I aint tt weak as wat ppl think I am....
I can't promise tt I will stick to him...
But for now...
I just want to make him smile like he mean it... Laugh like he never laugh before... Love him like he never been love before....

Like I used to question myself...HOW CAN U LOVE AND HATE SOMEONE AT THE SAME TIME?

No matter how unsatisfied I am with him... I dunnoe why I feel empty wenever he is not around me.... I may not be special or important to him.... but he is to me...N I am willing to accept him for who he is.... Cause everyone deserve to be love..... No matter how they look...

2009-07-02T14:49:00.006+08:00

MJ will always be loved and remembered for his fantastic out of the world dance moves and his memorable affect he had put in our lives..... Rest in Peace Michael... :)

2009-07-02T01:09:00.002+08:00

His the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only one who got enough of me to break my heart
His the song in the car
I keep singing don;t know why I do....
HIs the time taken up but there never enough and his all that I need
To fall into.......

Hahaz...
I know its an old song..
But never get tired of it :)

Okies now I am talking to Lucy darl..
Ways to clean acne away from your skin..
The topic of our discussion...

What I have researched..

Hmm...

Rub garlic on your face...
Like EWWWWW..

Blend peeled orange
and put it on ur face
spread it equally on your face

Hmm.. I rather drik that orange juice !!!

And avocado paste...
haha.. I never buy avocado before..

Or egg white.. make it like a mask on ur face for 20 minutes..
Then wash it off..
Goshhhh wat a waste.. Eggs are very expensive now...
Rather eat it than put it on my face!!!

hmm... I know.. I know...
Im sucha fussy bastard..

But what I can say is...
The best way to keep out acne from disrupting the flawlessnss of ur skin..
are:

1) SLEEP AT NIGHT and GET ENOUGH SLEEP at least 6 hours
2) CLEAN your face with facial wash at least 2 times a day.. DONT BE LAZY
3) Eat fresh food, fruit and vegetables..NOT FAST FOOD
4) Drink plenty of PLAIN WATER
5) Avoid fried foods
6) Moisturise your face
7) Dont press yor pimple.... SERIOUSLY the next day you will see a new pimple next to your old one

hmm... Well there are more ways...
But for starters.. Maybe you can try doing those 7 ways..
N hopefully we will have better skin in the future..

Aites.. I think Imma go to bed...
Stay prettty girls..
=)

2009-06-22T19:38:00.002+08:00

Dear bloggy feeling down to the max..
hey im sorry i cant bring out something new..
What can i do...
My life...
is just like that....

To u my BF...
just dig ur own grave... and fuck urself... i hate u to the core.... can u just break off with me!

To the FYP leader...
FUCK U fucking butch.... Call urself a leader... U are demotivating ppl instead of encouraging ppl to do well... What dunnoe how to do standard work? At least we are doing werk... What were you doing just now?!....

To the bitch whom everybody hates in the class...
Mind ur own bussiness...
Im sorry for treating u invisible just now...
Just dun have time for a moron like u....

To the only singporean guy in the class...
Please stop treating ppl like as if they are animals...
She is a nice person...
Look urself in the mirror first even before u talk rudely to people just cause they are fat...
I think she have a big heart... N shud be bigger than your fucking DING DONG!!...

To the role play group...
U are on your own... I just dun feel like I can contribute anymore...
Wads the point of contributing... when our grp is always condemned...

tts all i have to say for today...
FUCK MY LIFE...
Living in this world is a curse...
Never I felt joy ever since I am in this fucking class...
FUCK all the ppl who have made me cry...
FUCK those ppl who have hurt my feelings thru and thru...
Im done with all of you...

2009-06-06T23:42:00.002+08:00

Why people have to be bias?
Why people treat other ppl like things?
Why are the people who are smart get all the credits?
Why is life unfair?

Gosh... Cant these people just wake up?
Call themselves future nurses?
I can tell you....
Its not all about having a high GPA...
Its having a heart...
N i guess these people just dont have any heart...
Even if they do.. their hearts are fuckin rotten....
I picture them as loyal dogs who are working with a dictating PIG...
Just fuck all of them...
How I wish I can curse them all!!

2009-05-30T22:52:00.002+08:00

Just one word to describe today.. MAJOR PMS...........

One lesson to be learn:

If u love someone you have to let him go....
Before he show u his true color...

Asswipe and Lucy are missed....

Hope to see u guys soon.....

2009-04-17T23:57:00.004+08:00

This is Susan Boyle....
A 47 year old lady who have dreams to be popular singer...
Having dreams to be able to perform in front of a huge audience..
People kinda doubt her talent just cause of her looks...
They thought crap is going to come out frm her mouth....
But she left them speechless...
Hundreds of people stood up and clap for her when she was singing...
Awed by her angellic voice...
She is now a big star.....

Moral of the story:

Never judge a book by its cover...
Talent do not always come from beautiful people...
And never doubt one capability just because of their looks..

The expression of the audience before she sang shows that
people are still being judgemental...
But Susan boyle sure proved them that talent can be from ppl all shape and sizes...
Beautiful or ugly...
She is inspirational..XDXDXD

2009-04-17T21:19:00.002+08:00

Dear bloggy...

Feel kinda tired today... i guess its the weather or sumthin...
Sch is reopening soon...
Can I not go?...
Pretty much Fidah is goin to be seperated frm me.. for some modules...
Super suckky...
But I just feel like I have to do my all this final year...
I have to pass everything and graduate on time..
My family is no rich fuck....
Failing means staying back... means more money to be wasted on my education....
Just dun want to burden them anymore...
Its time for me to earn money....
pfffff...
So I have to work hard.. and pray hard.....
meh hu knows.....
I can earn a 3 pointer GPA by the end of year 3...
*hope* *hope*

Lesson learn today :

Assessment is vital in our daily lives...... Not just in the hospital environment....

2009-04-16T21:48:00.002+08:00

XD....

Okie....

We are pretty "jakon"

SO we took pics with the flower before giving it to Mai's dad...

I wanna own that Rose!!!

Lucy buy me roses i dont care!!! XDXD

2009-04-16T21:27:00.003+08:00

Dear bloggy...

Went to visit Mai's dad today... Me and Lucy bought roses for him...
Sweet huh?
But the color... is disgusting....stupid flower shop...pfff...
if only there are blue roses huh?
Her dad was looking pretty weak..
I really hope her dad can really cure from his sickness...

Oh ya... Mai's manje died a few days back...
pffff...
Pitiful huh?
I really wish I can see her grow.... :(

2009-04-16T00:31:00.002+08:00

Dear bloggy...

lLife is so blessful isnt......

Like one time.. i feel like i have the worst life ever then someone came along and tell her sad life story too you.... and suddenly i just felt ashame for cursing life and how unfair it is too me...

Like one time..... U think you are going through a very hard time... whining and thinking how suicide would be the only way out but actually there are people out there having tougher time than you... & they are fighting and striving to survive..........

There,,,, is this video... Fidah ask me to watch that tym.. about a dude... who is physically abnormal... Having neither hands nor feet.... Despite that, he still continue to live every single day with dignity and pride.. and never a day have he given up on himself... If he falls... he gets up... somehow.. and will not rest till he gets up.....

Human beings sometimes take things for granted..... Not thankful for what they have.... Think bout those other people who are less privileged.... dying to have lives like us.... everyday is a fight for survival... Pity them... and why are we whining about our pathetic lives.. giving up as soon as the pressure geting harder to handle.... Pfff.. shame on us........Shame on us.....

Just feel like writing this post..... cause I have realize how I take took things for granted.. and not have been thankful of what I have... pfff....

I want to be someone better now... ya know.... tts what.. I really wanna do....

2009-04-07T22:35:00.005+08:00

His new name "senteng"..named by Lucy...XD

Went to Mai house today...N yey!!! hols have started again..... Finally I shall get peace...*breathe in*...*breathe out* XDXDXD..... Went to check out Mai Kitty cats.... The ones that her Bro found..i guess..cant remember.... But OMG... they are super cute.... Most of them are black kitties....hmmm..I loike...hees...like sabrina the teenage witch's kitties... Lucy was fucking kecoh today as soon she came in the house.... keep laughing and disturbing this black kittie ... She asked Mai to call that black kitten "Senteng"... stop it sial... But mai is right...Lucy is the "senteng one today" hees.... We bullied "senteng" until he become freaking exhausted.... He slept like a corpse after that....Not even a shake and Lucy's scary laughter can wake up tt Kitty..hees just joking...XDXD

See what I mean..... "BANG" He's dead.....

Manje was my freakin favourite.... Kucing Parsi lah katekan...The most pemalas type of cat....

But her hair is all over..hmmm not nice yet... she look like a freakin furball....arrgghhh... but she is dead adorable...and slept at our hands.... N she is just the size of our palm... hees..... feel like squeeshing her to death....... Hopefully she will grow up to be a cat.... Cause she is actually kinda seperated from her mummy just after she was born..... Be fucking strong aites brat! LOL

See how small she is.... gahhhh!!!!!!.... hees... okie tts bout it... too much kitties for one day.. seriously...Mai have like 3 more kitties in her house.... plus a big giant one......OMG.... My mum dont even one to let me have a cat...JUST ONE.... maybe she is afraid I might murder tt poor thing.... FINE!!! wen i gt my own house imma own a BIG BIG cat.... A CHEETAH maybe..hees..

byes peeps...

2009-04-07T21:48:00.003+08:00

These pics were taken on Lucy's Birthday on the 5th of April.... Bby...I will buy a nicer present aites... tt drawing... u can keep... or throw it away.... hahahz.... But I had an awesome day with you that day.... Love you to the freaking core.... *hugs* *hugs*

2009-04-05T00:36:00.003+08:00

Attachment has ended leaving me with one question..Am i ready to do this job? HAiz.... there is a lot of mistakes i did...and a lot of things that need to improve... N i have to buck up before PRCP.... N i am goin to start NOW!... Well according to the clock its alr 12.50 am.... and its april 5th now..n hu's turning 19? lols

Its LUCY ,baby huhu!!!!!!! happy birthday to you...happy birthday to you...happy birthday to Lucy dear.. Happy birthday to you....yea... blow off the candle...before that make a wish...N like as if it will come true....XDXDXD I love ya bitch.... you are the only the only best best bestfren tt i will ever have....N yea its been years that we have been besties...n hopefully we will be this tight for as long as we can...... N fuck what ppl say bout you....I know tt those aint true...Be happy always...and I really hope that u have the best life ahaead...enjoy ur bday aites baby... *hugs* *hugs*

...................................................................................................................................................................

..............................................................................................................................................

................................................................................................................

...........................................................................

.............s2jndkwendxnenedc3e..........

kjnwsknwxsnkjwn

Its funny.....how life turns out to be... like some one whom u thought will never be ur best fren... Is your best fren now....Someone whom u tot is goin to be ur best fren....Is just a hi bye kinda fren now...N someone whom u considered a best fren... now become complete strangers.... But what is friendship to you anyways? Some frenships are fake bullshits...saying "i miss you"... wen actually u dun mean it...like appearing out of nowhere asking how am i...after a long time of MIA-ing and then disappear again...N wad hurts even more knowing that that person wont help you like the way u help them....get wad i mean...... theres more of this type of so called "frenship"

but fuck it anyways....

Anyways...like I say i will treasure the ones tt i consider as frens.... and just ditch those ppl who are just worth to be ignored....

2009-03-31T00:05:00.002+08:00

Just finished watchin ANTM... i know i shud be in bed but i dun really feel like sleeping.... Today was sort of panicky... Have this moment where i did an oral toilet for one of my patient... and as i was cleaning... she suddenly coughed like really badly.. and her pupil is like goin up... and I feel like as if she is goin to die or something.... I sat her up and pad her back... and quickly call the staff... Wen the staff gt there... phew... she is alive and breathing normally... maybe i panic for no reason... but... I dunnoe..Just got the feeling tt the patient goin to go off soon.... Just that I dont want her to die infront of me.... Please.... then i will get traumatised.....And definitely on the spot to quit this course once and for all.... god, pls help her... she had been tortured enough....She aint goin to get better anyways.... I guess... The family would not want to do an operation for her... saying stuff like she's old... and its kinda too late... and I heard she only left a month to live... All we can do right now... is just to provide her with comfort.... I just wish...I cud do more for her ya know.... Anyways tml start a brand new day in a male cubicle..... sianzzz....nvm..jia you!!!! 4 more days baby!!

2009-03-28T20:53:00.003+08:00

she better hold him tight and give him all her love...
Look in those beautiful eyes, and knows she 's cause...

He is the reaosn for e teardrops on my guitar...The only
Thing that keeps me wishin on a wishin star....
He's the song in the car ...I keep singing...
Don'y know why I do......

currently addicted to this song...Thanks to CHRISTIE...
XDXDXD
......................................................
......................................
...................
..........
....

~ Lalalala~
It's still dark.....
CRAP!!

Anyways...... Hear me out....
People who come and go...are not friends...They are just fake mother fuckers...

And people who just go MIA and suddenly just appear are inside that category...

And yea one more thing ...whats the point of missing someone when tt person dun even miss you

I despise ppl like that..and they aint worth my time....

2009-03-28T20:38:00.003+08:00

Here I am in my dark room..N dont even ask why it's dark... XD.... spent the whole day ZzzZZ today...but still, I am feeling tired right now...XDXDXD.... one more week... Jia you! went to meet my Lucy just now for breakfast.... Walao...so long never see her.... Brought my bro along too...As usual... being an older sibling, I cant just think of myself...So brought him along to eat at Mc... We talked crap and coot coot behind my bro's back, Me and Lucy... Just like old times..... Next sunday is her Bday....What shall I buy for her...hmm... but wadever it is.... It shall be something sweet :P... we are afterall, the sweetest lesbo couple ever XD

2009-03-27T20:53:00.002+08:00

Just woke up from my evening nap... Im pretty much tired..went to sleep at about 3am yesterday and woke up at 5:30am.....The lecturer was in our shift...damn sian.... I took a case today and pass report...damn cool man.... hahaz...but if I have to become a nurse right....passing report wont be as fun anymore...The more i see it... I think im goin to be super stress if I become a nurse...but pretty much....i cant really predict my future... So What I have to do is just to think bout now..Bout how I am goin to go through this last week..But wadever it is... i am just gonna do wat i can do.... and pray hard....Seriously speaking....I dun feel anything...just want this posting to be over..cant wait for the 2 week hols....

2009-03-26T22:38:00.003+08:00

Today has been a tirin day as usual.... tml im taking case yo...lol hope i will do a good job.... work ends at 3 today....Morning shift is not that busy today...but still i felt soo tired... me and christie changed cause we meeting fren later... wahpiangeh... wait for her like waiting for Xmas like that..lol...just kiddin... i look like fuck can? i just look tired nowadays...and dun really eat normally... maybe im just too stressed with everything that has been goin on.... but wadever it is... i will go through it and hopefully succeed..lols.... Met my fren at city hall... we hang at CQ... wah shiok man the place.... kinda place tt someone who get fuck up in a ward would really appreciate to be at..Thanks ahmad...lol...i felt freakin weak wen otw home...and i suddenly gt headache... damn suck.... mum was sick just now again... me and my dad took care of her...walao...i was so tired tt i almost gave her 2 tab of famotidine instead of one...damn fuck man..luckily she realise that....or not her gastric level in a stomach will be damn low..... gosh how careless of me...thats y... i say i must be more alert.... haiz sian.... anyways.... talkin to lucy right now...i miss her man... wen to meet up seh.... maybe soon lah babes... imyvvm...XD

2009-03-26T21:31:00.002+08:00

I have realize that I have neglected what's happening around me.... I need to be more alert and be more responsible.... SHIDA'S new goal.... to be more responsible!!!!! its a must must must.....
I have to learn to be an adult... and learn to stand on my own feet.... cause no one there is goin to help me but me.... Its time for me to change

2009-03-22T23:09:00.003+08:00

Cant sleep tonight...Seems that my eyes just couldnt really shut...I hope nothing happens to mum....She is at the ANE department at SGH...

at 9:45 pm... I got back home..just got to know my mum was in pain ....She cant move ger right knee...Eyes filled with tears....I was like OMG.... never seen her like thta before....gosh.... kinda feel like crying too ya know... but cant cry then.. something got to be done right?... I grab some painkillers and let her eat em.... Me and my dad persuaded her to go to the hospital..Cause there is nothing else we could do at that point of time...We cant possibly let her suffer the whole night.... She really dont want to go... but still we just reassure that everything will be fine..and she finally agreed... Ambulance came 10 mins later... And the medics are fuckin irritating keep askin my mum the same question..."WHERE IS THE PAIN"... FUCK the pain is at the kneee assholes...haiz... anyways... they did a good job in tranferring my mum from the sofa...Called dad a few mins ago..he went to follow mum...he said have to wait for 2 hours at the A&E....I think mum will be alright... JUst that I pity her to have gone throught that kind of pain...with tears in her eyes....kinda give me the heeby jeebies..ya know... aites then..... Granny ask me n my lil bro to sleep at her house...but gosh i think I am grown up enough to take care of my bro...Besides... He is sleeping now... I wish I could follow mum there... Better yet..take all her pain....Aites then...i end my post here...byes

2009-03-18T23:33:00.003+08:00

Went out with Fidah today... After a fucked up day at the ward.... It was fun.. even though I was tired.. It has been 3 weeks since we've met... we hugged like lesbos and talk like lil small giggly girls.... i kinda missed tt.. ya know....I have been serious towards everything... its time for me to chill.... We went to chinatown... cause she and her frens wanted to find a job at a restaurant at Chinatown.... So much for a restaurant... Its a fuck up one...N i have no more comment... Fidah didnt want to work there...N i definitely agree with her.... the restaurant was untidy,old and furthermore, it is place at a certain isolated corner... like wth.... then we went to vivo and chill and smoke.. not fidah but me..hees.. aites i know i have to stop.. but i cant... i am too stress....
Wanted to meet Lucy.. but I was tooo exhausted and my legs were killing me... besides mum wud not be happy about me goin back home late....Sorry bby....

Fidah told me she had a dream tt wendy and me wud talk again.....Fidah dear....I had that kinda dreams tonnes of time before and it feels real man..... As time past... I've realised that I cant expect my best fren to be perfect.. they are human being anyways...I am not a perfect fren too.... I sometimes offended my friends but they still except me for who I am...I am just being selfish.... But I know its kinda too late to fix things up...... i dunnoe how to make things right anymore..... I guess its the time for me to treasure those frens i had....

I've always say that all I wanted to be is to be alone.... But to tell ya the truth... Sometimes i do feel scared to face everything by myself..... I need my love ones to be with me.... I gotta treasure everyone i love and not to take them for granted....

This is wad i have got to say

N oh ya....
My patient passed away today..
It was expected......but still i dun expect to see her dead body during my shift
N actually I didnt know she passed away till i go next to her body...
Gosh..... My fault to go in...before listening to any report......
Give me the heeby jeebies wen i stood by her and realised she's dead
It like just yesterday I nursed her...
Talk to her as if she is concious...
n now shes gone
but i think its best for her..
At least its the end of her suffering..
Rest well madam aites.....

2009-03-17T23:22:00.002+08:00

Its been a long tym since i blogged.... Pretty much my hands are too lazy to write... but... still i dont have th heart to delete thi blog... today is my second day of attachment... Those two days were freakin busy.... But tml I will try to make up time to do my case study.. Cant really wait to take up cases... im excited... but still lack of confidence.... but i hope the lecturer and the staff will guide me through... To tell you the truth... I dont really like the ward... There are too many foreign nurses... and they keep on talking their language.... so irritating....ooooh just cant wait for this attachment to end.... anyways... results have come out finally.... thank god i passed... yea! No need to takeany supp papers.... n im a year 3 now baby... and soon to graduate.. hopefully.... cant wait to work and earn my own money... Cant wait to spend my hard earn money... N yea BRANDED STUFF ARE LOVED XD..... aites... thats bout it.... crapping soon... chiaox....

2009-02-23T15:48:00.003+08:00

Holidays have finally started.... thank god... cause i need a break..... before goin to another attachment at TTSH....have no plans really this hols... my grandma asked me to accompany her to Johor next week or next next week.. Not really liking that place.. but I dun want anything happen to Grandma... so yea... My hp is being a bitch again.. but actually its my fault this time.. actually all this while it has been my fault.. i was playing with it,,... until it said something about PUK code.. i guess i have to call the operator to get that code..maybe wen i got home or something.... gosh im freakin hungry.. missing Lucy lots right now... whre the fuck are you bitch.. aits gtg.. byes..

2009-01-04T16:17:00.011+08:00

Cud u believe it that I am home alone on a suday AGAIN? wad a quite and peaceful environment... I like it bby :) LOL anyways now just findings ways to put games in my psp and helping fidah with her blog.... haiz...ok I know Im procrastinating again...Im avoiding to do werk...but its 4.20 pm..Im just taking a chill pill..hahaz...okie better get goin and finish the werk...gotta print my ABC log for behaviour modification module and do my slides...in which I have no idea to do it...But come on shida just one more ICA and Im done with yr 2 nursing projects....hu hu!!! hmm..was organizing some photos yesterday in my lappy.... so here are some NOT all...during my Bday and on 31st Dec 2008...had so much fun on that day...

Was freakin ages since I've met this bitch..N i love her

Sha is loved?LOL...We totally cant stop listening and singing the Pepek song..WTH

They are forever loved..hopefully our frenship will never end aites...

N yea not to forget about Nusu and counsy too...u guys make my day really special...=)

LAst but not least my fav babe..Lucy..thanks hun for being there for meh...ILY<3

And Finally pics taken at the Marina Barage on the 31th Dec 2008...This ppl are LOVEDDDD :D

What a wonderful day to leave 2008 behind...Its a brand new year now...and I really hope its a good one...Even though deep down I have doubts about it...But hey with a wonderful family and friends....I guess i can survive....LOLs...

2009-01-03T23:34:00.006+08:00

Feeling quit stress right now....Pretty much forcing myself to do some werk...
I really want good grades can? hahaz..
Pretty much missing darling to the max right now...
When will he be back?
Its been like 13 days I did not hear frm him...
Is he dead or something..or he decided to migrate there? XD
Im still having question marks.....
All I can do right now is to wait for him to msg....
N keep waiting ....hahaz....but I hate WAITING... want to hear frm him NOW!
Miss him so much :(
Miss him calling me piglet.. LOL

2009-01-02T00:17:00.004+08:00

Leaving 2008 behind..and starting afresh in 2009....

My new year resolution

1) To get better grades then last semester
2) To read more books
3) To be passionate to nursing
4) To give up smoking
5) Never to drink again
6) To be a better person
7) To never hurt myself again